Funny Shit I Got in My Email

• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction fromwhich you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
• Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
• Bad decisions make good stories.
• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
• The best thing about sex is that part where I have it.
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

Big Brother

Today I was picking up my kids at the daycare and while I was there, one of the other little boys was playing with the hood on Amelia's jacket while she was wearing it. She was not happy about this so she was kinda getting mad. Lucas, suddenly walks up and yells, "Stop!" It was awesome. He was protecting his sister! Then, as the other little boy stood around, Lucas gave him the eye and wouldn't let him out of his sight until the boy walked away. I was the happiest dad in the world.

Don't Quit on Me

In my browser, I keep all my bookmarks pretty organized. Everything is categorized and placed in the proper folder. I have a folder with all the blogs I read too. It used to be pretty big but that was when everyone jumped on the blog bandwagon, wrote in it for a few months and then quit. Quitters! For a while, I was reading close to 20 blogs but now I only read a handful and two of them are by people I haven't seen in a while (20+ years now). Anyway, after writing in my blog for 6 and a half years, I only have one thing to say to all you people that started and then quit: you suck. There, I said it. You all suck. How the hell am I supposed to kill time when there's nothing to read? Facebook only takes up a few minutes of reading one-liners and Twitter is lame.

Who Said That? Level 9

This one is easy and hard at the same time. As a tribute to the Great John Hughes, I'll tell you right now that this is from a John Hughes movie (easy part). You just have to tell me who said each line (hard part).

I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
You're lying.
I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Lie.
Are your parents aware of this?
The only person I told was my shrink.
And what did he do when you told him?
He nailed me.
Very nice.
I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him.
He's an adult.
Yeah, he's married too.
Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Well, the first few times...
The first few times? You mean you did it more than once?
Sure.
Are you crazy?
Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
Have you ever done it?
I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Have you ever done it with a normal person?
Didn't we already cover this?
You never answered the question.
Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.
It's kind of a double edged sword isn't it?
A what?
Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right?
Wrong.
Or are you a tease?
She's a tease.
I'm sure. Why don't you just forget it.
Oh, you're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases.
She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
I don't do anything.
That's why you're a tease.
OK, let me ask you a few questions.
I already told you everything.
No. Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love. I mean, don't you want any respect?
I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between you and me.
It's not the only difference I hope.
Face it, you're a tease.
I'm NOT a tease.
Sure you are. Sex is your weapon. You said it yourself. You use it to get respect.
No, I never said that she twisted my words around.
What do you use it for then?
I don't use it period.
Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?
I didn't mean it that way. You guys are putting words into my mouth.
Well, if you'd just answer the question.
Why don't you just answer the question?
Be honest.
No big deal.
Yeah answer it.
Answer the question, Claire.
Talk to us. Every one: C'mon, answer the question. Come on. Answer it.
C'mon, it's easy. It's only one question.
NO I NEVER DID IT.
I never did it either. I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar.

I'm a Little Cold

Last week we had a bit of a heat wave. Temperatures all week were up in the 30's during the day and then at night it would only go down to about 21. It was actually a really great week cuz it was always sunny and beautiful outside. It was a bit warm for my taste but I can't really complain because it only gets like this for about 1 or 2 weeks out of the year. We had our A/C going full-time during the heat wave so I'm a little worried about our hydro bill but whatever. If I'm going to go down, I'm going down in comfort. The past couple of days have been warm (early/mid 20's) and just right for wearing anything you want and going out and doing stuff. Very comfortable. Tonight, I'm not sure why, but I'm feeling a little cold. Maybe this beer sitting beside me will warm me up a bit. Or maybe the one after it will. Nothing wrong with having a beer at home after a tiring day with the kids. They're asleep already so I'm just saying that I think I deserve a little treat. It's nice to just kick back and have a beer in peace. I'm just saying...

Make Them Feel Special

I find it funny when you look at the responses on evites or facebook events and people say, "I've got another party to go to that day." Really? Really? Do you really have to say that? Can't you just say that you've got some other appointment instead of saying that there's another party you'd rather go to? I mean, if you said, "I have another party that I can't get out of." Well, that's okay. Or even, "I've already accepted an invitation to another party and it's too late to cancel." That's okay too. I just think that if you're invited to a party and you just have to say that you're going to another party instead, at least make the host feel like you would rather go to his/her party instead. I'm just saying...

Dreams

Look at me, three posts in one night. Don't get used to this, I doubt that it will happen very often. Tonight is special though. I put the kids to sleep, Celia's out, I have a brand new bottle of my favourite cheap wine, and a full pack of smokes (I had one earlier, but I doubt I'll be having another one until Monday - yes I still smoke once in a while, so what? Eat me.). I kinda miss having time to myself to blab about nothing and sit at home and do nothing. What I really dream of is having a whole weekend with no kids so I can go do whatever the fuck I please for 48 hours starting on Friday evening until Sunday evening. Right now, THAT would be a better vacation than going to Vegas.

Double the Fun

As I was putting my kids to sleep tonight, it hit me again, as it does once in a while: holy shit, I have twins! The other day, Linda came by the office with her son and I made joke about how some parents are just lazy cuz they only have kids one at a time. It was kinda funny at the time but just now I realized that to me, I wasn't really kidding. I'm sure Lisa and Steve will agree that after having twins, just one kid is a fricken vacation.

Life Sucks

Being a single parent is tough. Not that I ever thought it was easy, I just thought that maybe I wouldn't have to be one. I just need a chance to whine about it. Shit just happens that gets in my way of fun, no not fun, but just life in general. Yeah, shit happens that get in the way of my life. Nothing that is anyone's fault, mind you, just shit happening. Someone has to be the responsible one in life, I suppose. Someone has to make the sacrifices and someone needs to just suck it up. That doesn't mean I don't get to complain about it once in a while because it really really really really sucks. I was thinking about looking for a new job just for something different and maybe more money but then I thought, "who the hell is going to pay me for doing what I do at work?" If you know what I do then you'll understand that lately I don't really feel like I've been doing much. Plus, I don't think a new job would be so flexible with my hours or give me more time off. I can't start earlier than 8am because I have to take the kids to daycare and I have to be off by 4:30 so I can pick them up before 5 (that would also mean working in the same city). So basically, I'm stuck in my job. Overtime would help with the bills but I don't have time to pick any up. Someone has to be home. Geez, it sucks to be me.

Changes. Or Not.

In an attempt to write in my blog more often, I've decided that I should have some focus. Something to write about. A theme to follow. I could talk about work, I could talk about my kids, or I could talk about my marriage. None of those things are really that interesting to anyone except me. So I've made a final decision. I'm going to write about anything and everything that comes to mind. Yes, this is pretty much what I've been doing for the past 6 years.

Old Friend

Okay, I admit I don't write here very often anymore but I think about it a lot. Anyway, the past couple days there's someone I've kinda had on my mind. Last night Alexa left for Calgary. Permanently. I mean permanently as in she's moving there and not just on vacation. I'm hoping someday she comes back because really, Vancouver is a better place to live. Anyway, I've known Alexa since before she was born and I've known her mom since I was a toddler. I've watched her grow up into an adult and become an independent woman. It's sad to see her go but she has to make her own way in this world and make her own decisions. Again, I hope she moves back home one day because she's one of those people that you just want to be in your life for a long time. And not in a long-distance kind of way, but in a day-to-day way. Take care, Alexa, and good luck in Calgary.

I'm a Fan

So I was watching the Michael Jackson memorial yesterday and I thought, "we've lost a pretty amazing artist." Then, talking about it today at work, I realized that the newer generation don't really know the Glory Days. One of the women at work is only about 4 years younger than me but her memory of MJ starts around the time just after Dangerous when he got really weird and creepy. Before that, he was just a little eccentric. I think the best years started with Off the Wall and lasted through Thriller, Bad, and into Dangerous. If you were a fan during those 4 albums, then you knew his brilliance. It's just too bad there was all that crazy shit that happened afterwards. Nothing was the same after. They say that people at genius levels are a little weird, probably because they see the world differently than us regular folk. MJ's brilliance was also his downfall.

Brr

We've had a few hot days this year. Not, like, super hot or anything, but mid to high 20's (celsius for you americans). What that translates to in my bedroom is roughly 42 celius. Our bedroom gets super warm because we get afternoon sun and we have a lot of windows. Makes the room look good but hot as hell. Anyway, when the twins were born we bought a portable A/C unit and this thing is gold. I just close the door, turn on the A/C and 20 minutes later the room is nice and cool. Last night it was on and it got cold. Like, cover-yourself-with-a-blanket cold. That was the sign to turn it off. If you don't want to spend the gajillion dollars on a portable A/C, buy one of those window fans. Those things are awesome too.

Don't Stop Til You Get Enough

This was one hell of a week. Nothing really happened in my life, but in the lives of others it was pretty significant. The first that comes to mind is Ed McMahon. I mainly knew him as Johnny Carson's sidekick and I have to admit that that's how I remember him the most. I hear he did a lot of good things though. Another life I think of is Farrah Fawcett. The was one of the original Charlie's Angels. I used to watch her on TV when I was a kid. And finally - you know who I'm talking about - Michael Jackson. WTF? He was only 50 and he died of a heart attack. Something is fishy about that but apparently he had medical problems for a long time. When it comes to music and dancing I can't think of a single person that has been more influential than this man. Sure he had a few weird things going on in his life in recent years, but if you look at his body of work, well it's amazing. If I had to mention 2 things that changed the world of music it would have to be Thriller and the moonwalk. Let us all bow our heads and pray for his soul. May his accomplishments and contributions to the world be remembered always.

Telly Wuz Here

I used to talk about shaving my head just for the hell of it. I never did it, though, because I kinda liked having hair and I was worried my head would look stupid. Anyway, after years of talking about it, I finally did it. A few days ago I got Celia to just shave all the damn hair off. I didn't Bic my head or anything, I just put #2 guard on and cleaned my cap. After a few days of having it all off, I have to say that it makes getting ready to leave the house very very easy but when I look in the mirror I still think it looks a little funny. I'm not sure I'll shave it again but at least now I can say I've done it.

Happy Birthday to Me

Y'know, I don't really look forward to my birthday like I used to.  I never make plans, I don't think about doing anything special for the day, and I don't expect other people to make a big deal out of it either.  Don't get me wrong, I love it when people wish me Happy Birthday - it makes me feel loved.  Despite not really caring much for my birthday anymore, I think I would have to be completely honest and say I would prefer not to spend it in the hospital.  As a patient it would really suck, but this year I had to take Celia to the hospital first thing in the morning on Wednesday.  She had a bunch of tests done and once they figured out what it was (you'll have to ask her yourself, I can't give that away), decided that she needed surgery.  She waited around for hours and finally went to the OR at 1 in the morning.  When I got there the next day, I didn't even know she had her surgery so the whole morning I was all annoyed that she was still waiting for it.  Anyway, everything is okay, she's doing really well, and the kids understand they can't climb all over her for a while.  There's some follow-up but that's just standard.  I guess my birthday was exciting in it's own way.

Here We Go Again

A couple of days ago I noticed that my kids started to have runny noses again. Then, yesterday, their breathing sounded all wet and congested. Today they don't sound much worse, but boy are they grumpy. Neither of them want to eat and Amelia is super clingy. Man, I hate it when they're sick. They're probably uncomfortable and feeling lousy but I really hate when they're sick because I'm a selfish bastard and it's really difficult for me to handle them. Amelia just wants to be carried all the time and Lucas eventually starts to feel left out. Whenever I hear people with just one kid complaining about how their one child is so hard to look after when s/he is sick, I want to punch them.

You Know More Than You Know

I was reading this thing about some guy that gave a speech at some commencement ceremony somewhere (that's a pretty detailed line, I know) and rather than try to impart some of his wisdom on the new grads, he instead asked them to write down their response to the question "What do my classmates and I need to hear on graduation day?"  It appeared as though the final lesson they learned was that they were, in fact, quite a bright bunch a people.  Some of the responses:

• Be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks.
• It's okay to fail - learn from it and you will succeed.
  
• Wash your hands... religiously.
  

Hmm, not bad.

Live in the Now

Now that the twins are starting to talk a bit, I have to be extra careful with the words I use.  So far they haven't repeated anything bad but Lucas is getting very good at repeating words.  His talking has exploded in the past few weeks.  He's learning words like crazy and is starting to put them together creatively.  Amelia still babbles a lot but she says it like you're supposed to understand her.  She doesn't like to repeat stuff but you can tell she's just soaking it in, ready to burst out in full sentences.  She did this when she was an infant too.  She would just watch everything and then one day she started to roll and crawl and walk, leaving Lucas in the dust.  so even though Lucas may be using words more now, I expect Amelia to pick it up quick.  I've always looked forward to the day they could talk but now I miss the days when they were still crawling around (kinda).  Maybe I should stop looking forward to what will come and appreciate what is here.

Don't You Hate...

when you just finish putting lotion on your super-dry hands and then you go to the bathroom and when you wash your hands all the lotion is gone?

Movie Review

Star Trek directed by JJ Abrams

Holy shit this was good. I'm not going to ruin it for you or anything so I'll just say this: Watch This Movie.

Nerd News Vol. 1, Issue 1

I just heard that Starcraft II will be released on Halloween this year.  That is the best damn news I've heard this year.  I don't think my Windows PC will be able to handle it so that leaves me with either installing Windows on my iMac or buying the Mac version of the game.  Mac versions of games have historically sucked but maybe they're better now.  But then will I only be able to play online with other Mac players?  Or do will I be able to play with the rest of the world?  I don't know.

Speaking of installing Windows on my iMac, there's a new version of Windows coming out this year.  In case you don't follow the Nerd News, the new version is called Windows 7.  Creative title but apparently this version is much better than Vista.  See?  Giving your OS a fancy name doesn't stop it from sucking.  Maybe a boring name makes for a better OS.  Millenium Edition sucked but XP was good.  Anyway, I'm thinking that this new version is the one I'll install on my iMac.  Hopefully it doesn't fuck up my beautiful computer.

Inconceivable!

So today we were talking about The Princess Bride with Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, and Robin Wright Penn.  There were a few people that had never seen it and I think those people a fucking nuts.  Not in a bad way, mind you, they are just crazy to have not seen this movie or to have spent their time searching out a movie such as this even though they didn't know it existed.  This movie is brilliant.  Comedy, action, love, suspense... the only thing it's missing is the naked women.  I'll let that one go for this movie because it's that great.  All the characters are brilliant: The Spaniard, The Sicilian, The Giant, and of course The Dread Pirate Roberts, AKA Wesley. Good shit, people.  Good shit.

"Coconuts are tropical and this is a temperate zone."

I was on vacation all of last week.  I got so much done!  I cleaned half the garage (believe me, half is a pretty damn big job), painted a closet (it's a big closet), changed a light fixture (I don't even know how to do that!), and buried all my A/V cables in the wall/crawlspace.  Plus I took my car to get aircared (passed with flying colours, thank you very much), played video games, watched some DVD's, and cleaned up the garbage from the back patio.  Okay, okay, the video games and watching DVD's aren't really productive, but when you don't get to play except late at night when you're already tired and you never get to watch a movie from beginning to end uninterrupted, it's a big deal.

After having this time off, I was so ready to go back to work.  Don't get me wrong, I love being off work.  I love it so much I wish I could do it every day.  I wish I could do it every day and then marry it.  I wish I could do it every day, marry it, and then have kids with it so the not-going-to-work think can be passed on to my next generation.  Anyway, that didn't make sense at all, but the point is that I love not having to work.  But, since I do have a job and I'm kinda obligated to do some work at that job, and I actually like my job (that totally contradicts my whole I-love-not-going-to-work thing), I go every day and do a little bit of stuff here and there.  I've actually got a lot of stuff to do, but I've been avoiding it and saving it up for a day when I really don't have time to do it so I can be so freakin busy I'll have to stop and blog about it at work.  I'm not really making much sense here, am I?  I'm like a fricken monty python sketch right now.

Sleep is for the Weak

I'm exhausted.  I always say this but I think it's finally really catching up to me.  I'm so tired that I can't sleep anymore.  I lay in bed until close to midnight and wake up at 5:30 or 6am.  Even if I go to bed a bit earlier, I just wake up and then I can't fall back asleep.  Maybe I'm just going through some adjustment period or something.

I Pity the Fool

I don't know about you, but I think Mr. T is one of the greatest entertainers in the history of movies and TV. Seriously, have you seen his Clubber Lang in Rocky III? Or B.A. Baracus in the A-Team? OMG, this guy is fuckin awesome. Who will ever forget his name? "First name: Mister, second name: period, last name: T." He rocked the gold bling before any of those wannabe rappers and he is the real OG. Anyone that can be a bodyguard for Mohammed Ali, Joe Frazier, and Leon Spinks is one bad ass. Although his characters would tend to appear very stupid with short lines like, "I pity the fool!", Mr. T is a very intelligent person with great charisma. He's got this reality (reali-T) show is called "I Pity the Fool" where he goes around and motivates people. It's not a show that will make you feel sorry for the guests, there's no "boo-hoo-my-life-sucks" people on his show. Mr. T will tell you your life sucks because you're a fool.

Some more Mr. T classics:

Mr. T Snickers commercial "Get some nuts!"

Mr. T World of Warcraft commercial "I'm a night elf mohawk."

Mr. T: the "T" in I.T.

Rules for Fools: Mr. T on Successful Employment

One

Yesterday was my first anniversary. Exactly a year ago we got married in a little church in Surrey and had a grand celebration in a casino. Celebrating in a casino isn't exactly as bad as it sounds, it's kinda like getting married in Las Vegas except without Elvis. The resort (not just a casino) staff were great and were very nice to us from our first meeting with the event coordinator right up to the last drink from the best damn bartender (congratulations on your engagement btw - again, knowing the bartender isn't as bad as it sounds, he's a friend). Anyway, you'd think that after living together for a few years getting married wouldn't be such a big deal. Well it is. It makes all the difference in the world. Don't know why, it just does and you'll know it when it happens to you. Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity (is it really an "opportunity" if I can blog about it any time I damn well please?) to say Happy Anniversary to my beautiful wife and here's to another 40 years to come (I don't really expect to live past 75)! I love you, Celia.

All This Time I Thought I Was Alone

A while back, probably at least a couple years ago, I wrote about googling yourself.  I did it once and found out there was some guy with the same name as me in Washington.  He was a professor of some writing class and sounded pretty smart.  Anyway, I thought "cool" and pretty much left it at that.  Recently, while surfing through facebook I found a group called Fans of Oliver de la Paz.  Seriously, I had to join this group.  So I did, read some of the stuff in the group and thought "cool" and pretty much left it at that.  Today, I get a message and a friend request that says "since we have the same name, we HAVE to be friends!"  That's totally cool with me so I accept and as it turns out, it's that professor dude from Washington.  I'm in his fan club group and I have to admit, I've never really read his stuff.  Anyway, just to make the story more interesting, I'm going through his pictures and find out that he has a 1-year old son named Lucas.  WTF??!  Weird, huh?  Finally, I just found out there's another Oliver De La Paz in California.  I sent a friend request to him because I think we might start a facebook group just for people with our name.  All three of us can be in it. 

Expert

Today we were pretty busy.  We helped one of the women in our group with her plans for a kitchen renovation.  We totally avoided work and looked at different kitchen designs hoping to find one that she likes.  She has an idea in her head but it sounds pretty fricken expensive so we were suggesting ways to save money.  At the same time, however, we were putting new ideas into her head that would just cost a million dollars more than her budget.  Granite sinks, radiant heat in a tile floor, double built in ovens and a built in microwave.  Fun stuff, huh?  Ever since we renovated our kitchen, I think I'm just an expert on all things kitchen-y.  It's like during the Olympics when you watch enough synchronized diving that you think you could be a judge.  Anyway, I have an early meeting tomorrow so I can't spend the night writing for you.  Gotta run.  No, don't get up, I'll just let myself out.  See you later.

Damn Cute

We were at my sister-in-law's house today and Amelia was calling to the dogs "Hi dog!"  She's so fricken cute.

Reliving my Youth

If you've never heard of it, there's this game called Quake. It came out in the mid-90's and was very popular. Then Quake 2 came out and was even more popular. I used to play it a lot and was pretty damn good at it. In fact, on the servers I played on frequently, I was very well known and, dare I say it, feared. I was in a couple of clans and... Well you get the idea - I was a Q2 freak. If you ever want to play, I bet I could still kick your ass.

Anyhoo, a little while later, Quake 3 came out and then a few years after that Quake 4. With those last two iterations, I never was able to pick up the old rail gun and frag the world like I could in Q2. Maybe the gameplay was different, maybe the weapons changed, maybe the gamespeed changed, or maybe I just plain sucked. Whatever it was, I don't really care but recently I've started something that makes me wish I was better at Q3: Quake Live. Its basically Quake 3 but played right out of your browser. No game to buy, nothing more than a plug-in to download and install, and most importantly, no lag to be found. I play it on a 7 year old computer and it runs at 120+ fps. I open my browser and I'm playing the game less than 1 minute later. Seriously, it actually runs just as well if not better than my real copy of Q3. If any of this didn't come across as supergeeky or if it did but you are in the least bit interested in Quake, you have to try QuakeLive. It is totally worth the hours of unproductive effort. Now if only I could install the plug-in on my computer at work...

My Way

At work, I've somehow become the non-official official orientation guy for when new people start.  Not such a big deal cuz I kinda enjoy it anyway.  Since last year, I've had 4 new people (aka, my bitches - not the derogatory annoying girl kinda bitch, but more the prison bitch) that I've had to train.  So far, I'm quite proud that they all do things my way and that they think of me as the guy that knows everything.  Really though, when they all find out that I actually don't know much, I'm in trouble and they'll be calling me their bitch.  But at least they'll all still be doing things my way.

Vampires Suck

So my co-worker tells me about this show on TV (HBO) about vampires and how it is really kinda racy and she has to turn the volume down when she's watching it because it gets a little porn-ish.  Then she tells me that Anna Paquin is in it.  Naked.  And then she tells me to PVR the damn thing so I can watch it.  So for a while I do that and the storyline seems okay and Anna Paquin seems pretty aight (naked) and then there's the porn-ish parts which really aren't all that porn-ish, they're more just rated R kinda stuff.  Anyway, I got bored of the show and deleted all of them off my PVR.  So now my co-worker is getting other people at work to read the books but I gotta say this: it's kinda boring.  If she ever reads this, she'll probably kill me.

MiL On the Way

In about 2 weeks, my mother-in-law is coming. She usually stays with us because she wants to be with the twins and will usually take a short side trip to San Francisco. Most people moan and groan and roll their eyes when they hear their mother-in-law is coming to visit, but I actually really enjoy it. Not only does she come and help (a lot) with the kids, but she also takes care of Celia and I. When the kids were still in the hospital, sometimes we wouldn't come home until 10 or 11pm and when walked in the door, mom2 would have some hot food waiting for us. There is nothing better than food ready for you when you walk in the door. Maybe a cold beer but that's just being greedy. Anyway, I never expect her to cook for us or anything, but she does and I love it. The other bonus is that she often takes my side when Celia and I disagree. :)

Pet Peeve

One of my pet peeves is when people do the 3period thing (eg, "...")  but go overboard and put, like, 20 periods.  for example:

"hey........... haven't talked to you in a while........... we should get together!"

I'm Back

It's been a while.  Sorry to all my faithful readers if I've left you hanging.  Let me give you a quick recap of the past month:

Twins' birthday - they turned 2 earlier this month.  We didn't do anything wild or crazy, just a little dinner with the family, godparents, and the neighbour.  As it turns out, the neighbour's kid goes to the same daycare as our kids.

Night shifts - I did a whole week of night shifts for some implementation we had out in Abbotsford.  It wasn't so bad except I was bored out of my mind.  As it turns out, the twins don't sleep through the night and Celia had a rough week.

Parents - my parents finally moved back into their own house.  There are a few things the contractors did a crappy job on.  If I ever find out their name, I'll let you know so you can never ever hire them for anything ever.  Stupid shit too like not lining up the tiles in the backsplash or not laying the floor tiles flat.  Seriously, that's stupid shit.

Work - there's a big shake-up at work.  Not a bad one, but everyone is working on something different.  Well, not everyone, but teams were switched around and new teams were formed.  I don't know why people always get mad at me for finding stuff out.  I mean, if it really was a big secret, why are they telling me?  Then I get in trouble for talking about it.  Personally, I think being able to find out everything that's going on, even the stuff that isn't officially going on (you know what I mean), is a skill and a good skill to have.  Don't hate me for having mad skillz.

Well that's about it.  What's going to be happening in the next few weeks?  I don't know.  I'm seriously starting to think about moving again.  Maybe we'll move in with my parents and save a bajillion dollars.  Man, that's a great idea.  Also, I've decided that the next opportunity that comes my way, I'm taking.  I probably should have taken the last one but I don't think that one was the one for me.  But the next one is mine.  Now that I say that, there probably won't be another one for a long time.  I suck.

Smarten Up

You know that saying, "live every day like its the last day of your life"? or "live for today and worry about tomorrow when it comes"? They sound really great and they get people to open up and enjoy their lives but I have to disagree with them at some point. It gives people permission to be irresponsible and go overboard. I mean, why not get stupid drunk tonight? Live it up, right? Well at some point you have to take responsibility for your life and for your future. I mean, what's the point of going to school or exercising or even getting married? None of those thing are a tonne of fun today, but they are rewarding tomorrow and the day after that and 20 years from now. I think the meaning of the saying is to simply be mindful of the present and enjoy the experience as it's happening so that you never look back and regret that you missed out on something. Anyway, I think I'm just saying don't be stupid and try to justify it by saying the world might end tomorrow.

Pass

I really like my job. I mean I really really like my job. I like what I've done, I like what I do, and I like what I'm going to do. I like that what I do affects a very large number of people and that it actually contributes to the work that nurses do (even if they think it doesn't). So, with all the things I like about my job, why do I feel like I need to move on and do something different? And if that's the case, why do I continue to avoid new things? There's another opportunity being presented to me and again, I'm passing it up so that I can stay and work at my current job. This new one isn't a sure thing or anything, but the opportunity is there and I really think I might have a decent chance at it, but I'm not sure it's what I want to do. I won't get into details because those are really not worth writing down (I've gone over them in my head a million times) but basically, this new thing isn't exciting enough to make me leave the job I love. What am I waiting for? A dream job. that's the problem, maybe its just a dream.

doubling up

Who wears boxer shorts under a pair of shorts? What's the fricken point? You're just wearing 2 pairs of shorts.

The Urge

I have a problem.  I joke around about people that buy clothes all the time and then find something in their closet that still has the tag on but they bought it last year.  I just can't seem to buy clothes like that.  My problem, however, is that I like to buy other stuff.  I like to buy expensive toys like new TV's, computers, phones, etc etc.  Right now I'm seriously thinking about buying a notebook computer.  Do I need one?  No.  Does Celia need one?  Well, no but it sure would be helpful now that she's in school.  Does she need one for the program that's she's in?  She could probably get away with not having one but again, it would be helpful.  So now she's put it in my mind that we should get a notebook for school.  I personally have no problem with that.  I've been comparing computers and trying to find one that meets my non-existent budget.  Do I get an entry-level MacBook or an above-average PC notebook?  High-end is out of the question.  Entry-level macbooks are still pretty good (I personally think it's because of the OS).  The PC notebook has much better hardware, but the operating system eats up half of that anyway.  The mac is lighter, thinner, more portable.  The PC is more mainstream so software is cheaper and easier to find.  Plus, I still need something that runs Windows because my VPN for work doesn't support a mac.  Look at me, comparing the two like I can actually afford a new computer.

Brave New World

In a world of text messaging, email, blogs, instant messengers, online communities, and all other kinds of electronic communication, some would say that we're losing our ability to communicate effectively.  I think I would have to disagree with this.  I've read that teenagers are able to convey just as much information and emotion in a text message as they would in a face-to-face conversation.  I think chatting online gives people a chance to know each other's personalities rather than having one's physical appearance affect how they interact.  Online communities like Facebook or MySpace allow people to stay in touch in ways we've never been able to before.  Do you know what your old elementary school friends are doing now?  I found out that a girl I went to school with over 20 years ago just got married and another is married with 2 very cute daughters.  Just 2 years ago I had no idea if these people were even still alive.  Even though we only leave each other brief messages once in a while, we're still in closer contact than we've ever been since 1988.  I remember a time when people kept diaries and journals and kept them locked in a secret hiding place in their room.  I may not do that, but I've been writing in my blog since 2003 and sharing my thoughts, opinions, experiences, highs, lows, and everything in between with anyone bored enough to read it.  Doesn't matter whether or not anyone reads it though, I write it for the same reason people write in private diaries - I just need an outlet to speak my mind and let it all out.  So my point of all this is that with all the technology that's out there, literally at our fingertips with iPhones and Blackberries, I think the opportunity to communicate is greater than ever before.  If you choose not to communicate or choose to communicate ineffectively, that's up to you.  There's nothing forcing you to stay indoors in front of your computer and there's nothing forcing you to ignore the ringing of your phone.  Quit blaming the tools and be accountable for your own choices.

Movie Previews

Remember that Street Fighter movie from the nineties?  The crappy one with Jean-Claude VD?  Well, they're making a new Street Fighter movie except this time the main character is Chun Li.  The trailer kinda makes it look like the Elektra movie.

Another movie that's coming out is GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.  When I was a kid I used to have a lot of GI Joes so I like to think of myself as a fan.  The trailer looks kinda cool with Snake Eyes jumping around and doing flips like spiderman.

Lastly, there's a new Astroboy movie.  If you don't know who Astroboy is, then you're missing out.  I used to love the old cartoon when I was a kid.  He was the super-robot version of Pinocchio.

Superstar

My niece is in a commercial.  She's so cute.

So Much Fun

Every time my kids get sick they each do their own distinctive thing.  Lucas tends to sleep a lot and just be a little lump until he feels better.  Amelia becomes very clingy and doesn't want to be put down.  Both of them can be very exhausting for us as we end up spending a lot of time with them, day and night.  Then one day they will just get up and start playing like nothing happened.  Amelia has been sick the past few days but yesterday she decided she felt better and was running around, laughing, and dancing again.  She's so fun to watch.

When the kids were born I couldn't wait for the day when I would come home from work and they would scream "daddy!" and come running to greet me.  That day has finally come.  When I come home from work, I can hear them upstairs calling "daddy, daddy!" and when I get to the top of the stairs, they are there just standing there waiting for me.  Then they either give me a big hug or they run off expecting me to chase them and start playing.  Oh, they are so much fun.

Finally

"What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world," he said. "Duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. This is the price and the promise of citizenship."

If this kind of thing keeps up, I think this new president might help people like americans.

Hey, I have a question. How come Obama is always described as the first black president? I thought he was only half-black. So the white people can take comfort in knowing he's still half-white and the black people can rejoice in that his half-blackness? I think if I was his white parent I'd be a little offended that I wasn't being acknowledged.

Good News Guys

I was told not to tell this to anyone.  I'm sorry, if I kept it a secret I would be betraying my fellow man.  

Pre-eclampsia:

Preeclampsia is a disorder that occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period and affects both the mother and the unborn baby. Affecting at least 5-8% of all pregnancies, it is a rapidly progressive condition characterized by high blood pressure and the presence of protein in the urine.  The only known treatments for eclampsia or advancing pre-eclampsia are abortion or delivery, either by induction or Caesarean section.  Many studies have also suggested the importance of a woman's immunological tolerance to her baby's father, whose genes are present in the young fetus and its placenta and which may pose a challenge to her immune system.  Researchers are increasingly recognizing the importance of a woman's continued exposure to her partner's semen as early as several years before conception. 

Okay, everything make sense so far?  Read on...

Having already noted the importance of a woman's immunological tolerance to her baby's paternal genes, several Dutch reproductive biologists decided to take their research a step further. Consistent with the fact that human immune systems tolerate things better when they enter the body via the mouth, the Dutch researchers conducted a series of studies that confirmed a surprisingly strong correlation between a diminished incidence of pre-eclampsia and a woman's practice of oral sex, and noted that the protective effects were strongest if she swallowed her partner's semen.

Okay guys, there is now scientific research to back up your claim that "it's good for you."  If you want references to text above, let me know and I'll tell you go do your own damn research if you don't believe me.

Public Service Announcement

Last Friday Celia and I had a babysitter so we went out for our friend's birthday.  First of all, finding street parking in Yaletown at 9pm on a Friday night is a nightmare.  Don't even bother trying.  We drove in circles for 45 minutes just to park.  Then again, we ended up with a pretty decent spot close to our party.  Anyway, you know when you're drinking and you start to get a little tired because you're not drinking enough to give you that drunken superman energy but you've had just enough to drink to make you a little sleepy?  Well for me that's one or two drinks.  If that's all I have, I need to go to bed soon.  Anything more and I'm up partying till the wee hours of the morning.  Or throwing up, one or the other.  Anyway, to overcome the whole sleepy thing, the secret is this: Red Bull and Vodka.  You can even go heavy on the Vodka.  With just a couple of these, you have the energy to survive the party and you're not hammered.  Anyway, that's my advice to you all.  I'm not advertising for Red Bull or anything because if I was then I would be getting paid and I'm not so consider this a PSA.  Drink Red Bull and Vodka. 

Growing Up

Next month the twins are going to daycare.  With Celia going back to school and with no nanny available, we needed some form of childcare on a daily basis.  Daycare isn't so bad, there are other kids about their age and there's structure to their day.  Exactly the kind of thing I want.  Today I was talking to someone about it and then I said it out loud: "They'll be in daycare monday to friday for about 8 or 9 hours a day."  Holy crap, that's a lot of time to be spending with strangers.  I mean, I do it every day at work but for a two year old that's a lot of non-family time.  Someday they'll be in school and it'll be similar situation.  Then someday they'll be old enough to be out on their own and then they'll be out all night and then they'll move out and then I'll hardly ever see them.  Now I don't want them to grow up.

Day 2 Vancouver Blizzard December 2008

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Saskatchewan."

2009 Resolutions

Every January I have resolutions for the new year (except for last year, I must have forgotten) and this year I've decided to go big.  Here they are:

1. Lose 15 lbs
   
2. Stop buying lunch at work
   
3. Be more responsible with money
   
4. Quit smoking 100% (I'm at 95% right now.  If you don't know, that just means I'm doing pretty damn good right now)
   
5. Paint my house
   
6. Finish any and all renovations
   
7. Clean the garage so we can have both vehicles in there
   
8. Exercise at least 3 days/week (see #1)
   

There we go.  I think the toughest one is actually #7.  Anyway, happy new year to everyone and best wishes for you and your loved ones.

Baby World

Tis the season for early babies, apparently.  Just before Christmas, my friend at work had her baby.  He came about a week or so earlier than expected, but he's healthy and very cute.  Congratulations to Linda and Bai on their new son, Tyler.

Festivities

I hope everyone had a good Christmas.  Mine was great.  Celia's sisters and cousin all came to town to stay with us over Christmas and we had a really good time. The kids had a great time too.  Amelia is now a pro at opening gifts and Lucas, well, he still doesn't seem to know what to do with them.  Lucas got these toy cars from my parents and he hasn't let go of them since Christmas.  He just carries one or two of them around everywhere, it's so cute.  Every time Amelia opened a gift of clothing, she would try to take off her clothes so she could wear the new stuff.

December 24:
Pick everyone up at the airport, dinner at home, up till 2am.

December 25:
Waffle breakfast, relaxing, opening presents, dinner at my parent's

December 26:
Karaoke Revolution: American Idol Encore 2, Running errands, snowball fight, kids' Christmas party

December 27:
Snowboarding!

December 28:
Late dimsum, Guitar Hero World Tour

Ahh, good times, good times…

New Additions

Today my new niece, Isla, was born.  She was just a little thing, born 2 weeks earlier than expected.  I guess it just balances out because Ava was 2 weeks late.  Congratulations to my brother and his wife.

Snow Day

The snow is a beautiful thing.  It means I'll be able to go snowboarding next week.  I can't wait.  This year, we bought the twins some snowsuits so we could take them out to play in the snow.  Lucas loved it.  He would just walk around in the snow (not too deep) and laugh at me as I shovelled the driveway.  He had a grand old time watching me work.  I should have given him a little shovel.  Amelia, however, wanted nothing to do with the snow.  We got her all bundled up and then refused to be put down once we go outside.  I put some snow on her mitten and she just cried.  We were walking into an elevator and she saw some snow on the floor and slowly backed out of the elevator until I picked her up.  Maybe next year they'll have more fun in the snow.

Yay!

The mountains opened!  I can go snowboarding now!  Cypress opens for night riding on Dec 17th.  There isn't a tonne of snow yet but enough.  It's probably pretty freaking cold up there and I haven't gone snowboarding in a couple years so I guess I should bundle up.  I can't wait to go but I'm afraid I'm going to come home so stiff and sore that picking up the kids is going to be painful.

The Christmas Light Fiasco

So this year I was determined to put up Christmas lights.  Back when I first moved out, I bought Christmas lights on my first Christmas at my house but never put them up.  For 3 years I always took them out but never hung them so now in our first Christmas at our new home, I decided to put them up no matter what.  The funny thing is that I pulled out the old ones but didn't like them so I bought brand new ones. 

Since I work in the mall, I went to Zellers and picked up a couple strings of lights thinking that 30' would be enough.  As I hung them I realized that I was nowhere near being right about that and needed another string but by the time I went back to Zellers they were all out lights that matched the ones I bought.  I went to 2 different Zellers, the Bay, Rona, Sears, Canadian Tire, and WalMart but no one had lights that would match.  Finally, I just went to Rona and bought 3 new strings of blue lights.  I took down the white ones I had already hung, and put up the new blue ones.  I ended up using the white ones on one of the trees outside the house so it wasn't a waste or anything.  Actually, I need more…  Anyway, after I finished, I went inside, got Celia and we stood outside to see the beautiful new lights on our house.  Mieh.  I don't really like how they look so next year I'm going to buy new lights again.

Are You Ready?

Every year I say I'm going to get my Christmas shopping done early.  Every year I do the exact opposite of this.  Usually, on December 24th I'm at the mall looking for the last minute presents for, like, 12 people, but not this year!  This year Celia took care of all the shopping and we were 95% done before the end of November.  I even bought Celia her present (a new snowboard and bindings - don't tell her, it's a surprise).  All I have to do is hang my Christmas lights and wrap all the presents and clean the house and finish setting up my home theater and paint the hallway and install a handrail and clean the garage and wash the cars and get family pictures done and put away the patio furniture.  I am totally ready for the holidays.

Falling in Love All Over Again

When I bought my iMac I went all out and upgraded all the things I thought I wanted.  Bigger screen, faster CPU, more memory, wireless mouse, wireless keyboard.  I love my iMac.  Not because it is that much better than a regular old PC, but because this thing is frickin beautiful.  Anyway, when I unpacked the wireless keyboard, I noticed it wasn't a full keyboard.  It was more like a laptop keyboard.  "Hmm, I don't like this,"  I thought.  I thought I would give it a try anyway.  After a few months I kinda got used to it but then after a few more months I decided I didn't like it anymore and wanted a normal keyboard.  Since I like the design of the Apple keyboards, I went to the Apple store and bought a regular, wired keyboard.  I'm loving it and my iMac is better than ever.

Stuck

Let's say you're at the mall and you decide that before you go home you're going to pick up some food from the food court and eat it at home.  So now you're on your way out and realize that the drive home in traffic will take 30 minutes and you really have to pee.  You go to the public washroom at the mall and now you have a dilemma.  What do you do with your food?  Are you going to hold it with one hand while you pee?  Put it on the wet countertop around the corner, unsupervised?  Rest it on top of the urinal?

Etiquette

Is it bad form to answer the phone if you're sitting on the toilet?  When you're at home, the caller probably wouldn't know anyway but what if you're using a stall in a public washroom?  Should you be in there doing your thing and talking on the phone?

Addicted

I recently came home with Gears of War 2.  If you don't know what that is, it's like crack except it's a video game on the XBox360.  You can't get enough of it, you can't stop playing it, and nothing else seems to matter while you're playing it.  It's a good thing the kids haven't been injured while we neglect them to play this game.  Social services frowns on that, I hear.  Just kidding.  About the neglect, not the frowning.  They really do frown on that.  Anyway, Celia and I have been playing this whenever the kids are asleep regardless of the number of dishes piling up in the sink.  Seriously, this game is great.  Not for children though as it is very violent with coarse language.  I'm waiting for nudity, but I have a feeling it just won't happen in this game.

The New Age

Every year I say I'm going to start my Christmas shopping early and every year I do the exact opposite.  This year, however, we actually took care of a few gifts thus fulfilling the prophecy that the twins shall make me do things I don't usually do.  

Game Reviews

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare on XBox360

This game was so good I cried.

Fallout 3 on XBox360

I'm still playing it but it's so good I'm crying.

XBox360 review

I've had my XBox360 for a little over a year now and I am now on my third machine.  I've had to send it in for "repairs" twice.  I'm actually kinda glad that instead of just fixing mine, they sent me a new one.  I'm really not too happy that I've had to send it in twice.  That's just stupid.  Other than that, I like my console.

Fresh Blood

So I hear there's something going on with the US government today.  Just kidding, I know that there's a new president.  How do you avoid hearing about this?  Anyway, I hope this new president does something positive for his country.

Shiny and New

There's a new Wal-Mart down in South Surrey I think it's on 24th and King George-ish. This is a nice Wal-Mart - big, clean, not too busy on weekdays. But whatever you do, don't go there on a weeknight because that's when I'll be going and I don't want it to get busy.

It's Like Cheating

Usually being home alone with the kids isn't a problem anymore. I don't get all stressed out thinking about it. It's kinda fun now because I can take them out and do stuff with them now that they're a bit older. Sometimes, however, when they're really tired but can't sleep and they're all grumpy and they cry over every little thing, I take them out for a drive. Throw them in the van, drive around and blam-o! in a few kilometers they're sound asleep. I know it's not great for the environment and gas is expensive but screw all that, I need to not go crazy. Driving them around works better than anything. Then I bring them in, plop them in bed, and we're all happy.

Say What?

Today my parents officially moved out of my house. They moved into a condo not too far from here. It's kinda nice but I wouldn't buy there cuz I'm not really a fan of the layout. I'm sure they'll be happier there. It was getting a bit crowded here. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind them being here, but I think it was too crowded for them.

I can park my van in the garage for the first time. It took forever to clean the damn thing out but there's enough space to park my van comfortably. Maybe before Christmas I'll be able to park two cars in there.

I hung my TV. I bought a wall mount kit online. It doesn't do anything fancy like twist and turn but it does allow for a slight downward tilt for those people who like to hang their TV's too high. It was damn near impossible to screw the 12 foot screws into the wall stud but I'm a pretty strong guy so I persevered and found better tools. Celia didn't want to help me hang the TV so I picked it up myself. If you're thinking it's a little 28" TV, screw you. It's 47" muthafucka! Still, it was pretty light. The first TV I bought was a 32" CRT that weighed 175lbs.

Movie Reviews

Wow, I haven't done a movie review in a long time. Today, I have 3 for you.

Semi-Pro with Will Ferrell and Woody Harrelson

Meh.


Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Kristen Bell and Jason Segel and Mila Kunis

Kristen Bell is on my Top Ten list. She is hot in a bikini. Oh, I kinda liked the movie too. Mila Kunis was looking good too.


Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story with John C. Reilly and Jenna Fischer

This was funny shit.

Now We Have to Start All Over

Last month we bought a new sofa and some dining room chairs. We really liked the ones we ordered and we've been patiently waiting for them. They were supposed to come some time at the end of this month because they were being custom made. We found out last night that Yaletown Sofa went bankrupt and the owner has disappeared. Great. So now we have to call the credit card company and get our damn money back and then find a new sofa and dining room chairs. Sonuva...

Moving In

So it looks like my parents will be with us for a while. I don't really mind because they're hardly ever home. I feel bad for them though because every time they have to go to their house to get something, the restoration crew has ripped out another wall or moved out more furniture. I can tell that they are both pretty exhausted emotionally as well as physically. They haven't even fully recovered from the jet lag. One little positive thing is that today I cleaned up the garage so they could store some of their stuff in it. There's so much space I could've parked a car in there. The restoration guy said he thought it would about 4-5 months before they'll be able to move back in to their house. The insurance people said they would pay for a place to live but for now we have houseguests.

Indoor Pool

I picked up my parents from the airport today. They like to go on vacation about twice/year now that they don't have to support their kids anymore. Anyway, they were gone for about 2 weeks and when I drove them home we opened the front door to some very strange sensations. First thing I noticed was the sound, "hmm, sounds like the shower is on upstairs. i wonder what the hell is going on." Then I noticed the temperature, "it's really warm in here and pretty humid too." Then I noticed the floor, "strange that the floor is covered in water." A water pipe broke in the upstairs bathroom and flooded the whole fucking house. The kitchen, which is directly below the bathroom was totally destroyed and the ceiling panels were drooping from the water. They have laminate floors, *ahem* they had laminate floors but they got all warped, and the carpet was soaked. The walls were obviously soaked and pretty much everything was ruined. The whole fucking house is practically ruined and will have to be gutted before anyone can live there again. They're staying with us tonight and for however long they need to I guess. I can't imagine coming home to that. I think I would cry or go crazy.

Woe is Me

One time my aunt said to me, "my kids are only a year apart so it's like having twins.  Not exactly, but its like having twins."  I have 3 words for that.  No. It's. Not.

Good for Me

Even though I can't carry on a normal conversation anymore, I'm quite proud that I've been able to blog so much this past month. It is, of course, complete garbage and not really all that interesting but it's not supposed to be an exercise in quality, but rather quantity. And seriously, when has this ever been interesting? I write in my blog for the sake of writing. It's not like I do it to pick up chicks or to prove that I'm cool.

I Dream of Going Back to Normal

Ever since the twins were born I haven't been able to carry on a decent conversation with another adult. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep over the past 18 months or if it's from watching too much Treehouse but whenever I find myself talking to another grown up I can't seem to concentrate on what we're talking about, my eyes can't focus, and I totally don't hear everything that the other person says. It's like I suddenly don't know how to talk to people anymore. I'm really really hoping that when I start getting regular sleep this will all correct itself.

I Want HD

A friend of mine from work said she was watching some movies on BluRay and she said the high definition really made the CGI stuff look really fake. Is this true? I imagine that new movies will correct this but if I watch Spiderman in 1080p will it look stupid? Anyway, I'm thinking about buying a BluRay player. I know, I know - get a PS3 because it's cheaper and you get a cool game console too. Even though I would love to have a PS3, I actually want to stay away from it because I don't need 2 consoles. I don't play that much. I haven't done any research on BluRay yet but what's the difference between a $500 machine and a $299 machine?

Information Age

I really like technology. It's not so much the whole geeky, computer nerd, staring-in-front-of-a-monitor kinda thing, its more about learning new ways to do something. Sure, carrying a little calendar around works just as well as a PDA and do you really need cell phone? Twenty years ago they were only for the elite. And come on, does your computer really save you any time? Anyway, I was reading this letter to the editor in my nursing magazine and someone made a comment about using computers in patient care scenarios and how they may not be improving patient care and all that jazz. Although it may not directly improve how well a nurse gives you an injection or inserts that foley, it does become an incredible source of information that was never available before. Let's say you're driving out to Kelowna and as you pass by Hope you need to stop off at the hospital because you suddenly feel dizzy and weak. Would you want the doctors and nurses to be treating based on what they know of you from that particular visit (ie, no info other than what you tell them or what they ask), or would you want them to have information on your medical record so that decisions on your treatment/care is based on your history? Maybe for you it doesn't make a huge difference but for anyone that arrives unable to speak or has a complicated medical history, this could be difference between life or death. Make your own decision but I know what I'd want.

Congrats

Congratulations to VJ and Michelle on the birth of their 3rd daughter!

Finally

Heroes is back.  *big sigh of relief*

One for the Married People

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn`t say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother`s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What`s for dinner, Batman?'

Weather Update

Don't get me wrong, I love the summer weather but I'm actually quite happy to have a bit of rain. It's just... refreshing.

4 Year Itch

I worked at the hospital for a little more than 4 years when I started to think about doing something different. Before I hit my 5 year mark, I had started a new job. Now that I've been in this job for a little more that 4 years, I'm starting to think about something different again. I don't want to change industries and I don't even want to change companies. I just to do something a little different. Making more money wouldn't hurt, but I'm not really that concerned about that. Well I am, but not enough to make me do a job that I didn't believe in. Anyway, there was this senior consultant position that has come up and I seriously considered applying for it. I'm in no way qualified for this position in education or experience but how hard can it be? I'm pretty sure I could fake it better than Jenna Jameson. After a lot of deep soul searching I decided that I wasn't going to apply because it wasn't something I wanted to do. My idea of a perfect position doesn't exist (even though it should. of course i would say that) but someday... someday.

Procrastination

I'm a huge procrastinator. I've gotten better since the twins were born. I had no choice on this, I was forced to change. It was either do it now or you're screwed. There are a few things I'll still put off until later though: work, research (personal stuff, nothing serious), paying bills, my laundry, cleaning the garage, etc etc. The big thing that I've put off for a very long time is my thank you notes for my wedding. Man, I just can't be bothered. Are we total a-holes for not sending them out?

Old Wives Tales - True or False?

Is it okay to put knives in the dishwasher? Does the dishwasher dull the blade?

Knife manufacturers generally recommend babying your expensive knives because the concern is that the dishwasher bumps the knives around, either in a basket or against the racks, dulling the blade. Are you serious? Is the knife that delicate? So if my dishwasher lays the knife flat or if it has a knife rack it should be okay, right?

Is it true that cold water boils faster?

No, that's just silly. Water boils at 100 degrees celsius so if it has a higher starting temperature, it will take less time to reach 100 degrees. Anything you may have heard or believed about using cold water is just a myth. That's just plain common sense. If you still don't believe me, do an experiment: same pot, same stove element, same volume of water - boil warm water from the tap and time it. Let the pot and element cool to room temp and boil cold water from the tap and time it. Then let me know what happens.

Top 5...

I always think of my first 2 months with the twins. Or maybe I should say my first 2 months without them. Fortunately for all the other parents I know, no one has had to deal with what we had to with the twins. Maybe I'm dwelling on it too much but here are my Top 5 Worst Memories of the kids' first 2 months of life:

1. getting a phone call at 2am telling me Lucas is having trouble breathing because he has an infection and they needed to put him on a ventilator
2. a call from Celia telling you your daughter might have a serious abdominal infection and has to be transported to the big children's hospital in case she needs surgery
3. watching them struggle to live after being born almost 3 months early
4. being forced to spend the majority of my time looking at them through a clear plastic incubator
5. worrying constantly that some statistics show that preterm babies could be at higher risk for having a learning disability

Seriously, I have to get over this. They're fine now and have been nothing but amazing. Maybe I should go to therapy.

And the Winner is...

iPhone:
Fun to use
Nice touchscreen
Built in iPod
Looks cool
Full web browser
Wi-Fi
Nice screen

Blackberry:
Keyboard
Email
Wireless sync
Indestructible
Long battery life

I realize that the iPhone can sync wirelessly but you have to subscribe to that. Also, I know that everyone's experience with either device may not be they same as mine but the verdict is... You should get both. I would hate to have to write email on my iPhone with its touch screen and my blackberry doesn't has wi-fi to surf the web. Granted, my bb is an older, clunkier model than the sleek Pearl or Bold but functionally, there is little difference.

Since most people aren't willing to pay for both (myself included) I say go with the iPhone and buy a Mac. Get a Blackberry for business and give one to your employees because they don't need an iPod for work.

Concert Review

Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu Tour

Good shit. This isn't a concert for some kid that only knows her last 2 CD's. She did everything from 1982 to the present. It was a concert for all those long-time Janet fans.

Y'know, I don't really like going to concerts. I've only been to a few but the funny thing is I've been to 3 Janet Jackson concerts. The Rhythm Nation one was still the best. The fight afterwards was the shit too.

Mac vs. PC

I have a new respect for Windows. I imagine that it has so many problems partly because it is trying to cater to too many people. There are so many different possible configurations for a PC (parts, manufacturers, brands, etc) and Windows is trying to accomodate them all. The Mac OS only has to worry about the configurations that Apple makes so it's just know to be a bajillion times more stable than Windows. Of course, I know nothing about programming and my understanding of the inner workings of any kind of computer is pretty basic so I could be totally wrong on this (very likely but who cares). Anyway, my only beef with Macs is that it treats me like a n00b. On my PC, I took great care in naming files in a very specific way, organizing these files the way I like, and maintaining this OCD structure regularly. The Mac does this stuff for you so you don't have to worry about it. Brilliant, huh? Except I like to do this stuff. I guess I could still do it on my mac but the point is that I don't have to and I'm trying very very hard to just let the damn mac do it's thing. Every once in a while I go to our Windows PC and rename and move files just to ease my jitters.

Justification

I haven't had a lot of time to play on my iMac much but today I had a few extra minutes and I learned how to create ringtones for my iPhone. I didn't even know it, but I had Garageband. The only reason I found out was because I was checking out my sister-in-law's macbook and saw that she had it. Anyway, you can use Garageband to create ringtones and its so fucking easy. Since all I ever do is surf the web and use iTunes on my Mac I was never really impressed with the OS or the applications. I mean, they're okay and all but nothing spectacular like they make it seem in the commercials. Then I learned how to create a ringtone in about 3 minutes and made my first one in about 10. I didn't even read a tutorial or anything, the application was just that easy to use. Now, after learning how to do just one thing on my extra expensive beautiful computer, I LOVE it. I love it because it's just so damn beautiful in it's simplicity.

Yearbook Pictures

You have to check out this site, it's so freakin hilarious.

Wish List

Top 5 Things I Want in the Next 6 Months:

1. finish painting the house
2. baseboards
3. kids that sleep through the night
4. a few days of snowboarding
5. a hobby

Productivity

So about 2 weeks ago we opened a brand new hospital out in the valley. Very fancy schmancy kind of place. The first brand new hospital (not just a new building) in 30 years in the province. I'm not even sure this is true but that's what I heard. Anyway, I was supposed to be out there on Thursday and Friday for support but since the project team felt everything was going so well, we all decided that we could stand down and end support a little early. w00t! For me, that meant that I didn't have to leave home at 6:30 in the fucking morning to get to work and I could instead just drag my ass out of bed at 7:45am and go to the office at 8:30. The problem though, was that I had planned on being out at the hospital for two days so I didn't have anything to work on and with this part of the project being done, there was really nothing for me to start. Don't tell anyone, but I was very unproductive the past couple of days. Don't you just love how I tell you to keep something a secret in my open-to-the-public blog? Anyway, let's just say I did a lot of nothing for 2 days.

Closure

Every once in a while I go back and read what I've previously posted. Maybe I'll read what was going on in 2005 or maybe what I was thinking 6 months ago. I mostly do this because I'm a pretty self-absorbed bastard but I also like to try and tie up any loose ends. The problem, however, is that I never actually tie up the loose ends I just leave them hanging like the tassles on those jackets from the 1960's, 70's, and 80's. Well this time will be different. This time I'm going to admit that I'm never going to tie up those loose ends and just remain a self-absorbed bastard. I bet you thought I was going to say I was going to clean it all up, huh? Sucker...

Pet Peeves

I really hate when I buy a coffee from Tim Horton's and the opening in the lid is right where the seam of the cup is.
I also hate when someone gives you money and they just lay it down on the counter instead of putting it in my hand.  Conversely, I hate seeing customers throw money on the counter.

Who Said That Level 8

"The human torch was denied a bank loan."

Long Weekend

Happy Labour Day. Up here in Canada it's Labour Day, not to be mistaken with the U.S. version known as "Labor Day".

My nanny called in sick today so I'm alone with the kids again. They're pretty easy nowadays but I would like a break. I don't need a whole day off or anything, but a day at the spa would be nice. Wait, no that's lame. I want to go golfing. No wait, I don't golf. Just a day to finish painting my kitchen is all I ask for.