9 Months Later...

Well, the twins are now 9 months old and I still have no idea what I'm doing. I'm pretty good at faking it though so we get by. I was looking at some old pictures of them and it reminded me of all the stuff we had to go through last spring. I look at pictures of Lucas with his feeding tube sticking out of his nose and Amelia with an IV in her scalp and it almost brings me to tears to think of the daily trips to the hospital, commuting to the children's hospital in the city, and the calls in the middle of the night from the NICU nurses. I've had friends say that it was quite a rollercoaster, but they have no idea how crazy the ride really was. I know Celia doesn't like to look at the old pictures because it was such a hard time for us, but I like to see them to remind myself how far the kids have come. Every day I come home from work and see them smile and all I want to do is pick them up and hold them. It takes everything I have to not hug them too tight or to not kiss them until they're practically crying for me to leave them alone.