Hmm...

1. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
2. When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
3. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
4. When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
5. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
6. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
9. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
10. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
11. I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
12. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
13. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
14. I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
16. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
17. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
18. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
19. I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
20. Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
21. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
22. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.