Ok, I just have to complain again. I don't mind if people ask me to help them with their computers. In fact, I quite enjoy it. But I always give them this warning: I taught myself everything I know so there are still A LOT of things that I don't know. My big solution when I have a major computer problem is to just reformat the damn thing and start all over. Sure most people can't do this, but if you want professional tech support, you have to pay big money for it. Buy a computer from Dell or something.

This is my favourite one: "Hey Oliver, something is wrong with my comp. Can you take a look at it?"
"Yeah sure. What's it doing?"
"Its slow and I get all these error messages."
"What do the error messages say?"
"I don't know, I don't read them."
FYI: error messages will often tell you what the problem is. please read them before asking me for help.

Here's another one:
"Hey Oliver, I can't seem to get my email."
"Here, I'll take a look at it. Punch in your password for me."
"Password? I don't know what it is."
"What password did you use when you created your email account?"
"I don't remember."
FYI: how the hell can I help you with your email if you don't even know your password? The whole point of a password is so that no one else can get into it.

Viruses and worms are another favourite of mine. Now this one is my fault: I was helping my mom with her computer so I took it home to back up some of her files on my harddrive (because I was going to reformat hers) but when I connected her comp to my network, I got a worm. The W32.Mimail.I@mm worm decided to creep in and make a home in my comp. It took me 2 and a half hours to clean my system. BTW, if you get an email about your PayPal account expiring, just delete it.