Pet Peeve

You know what I find annoying? When people say, "I use my bluetooth to talk on the phone while driving." "Bluetooth" does not refer to the device itself. "Bluetooth" is wireless protocol used to connect devices over a short distances. That thing hanging off your ear is just a wireless headset that connects to your phone using "Bluetooth". It's quite common for people to use the term this way and it drives me nuts.

The Door is Closed

When I bought my first iPod, I was a little unsure of how often I would actually want to put headphones on and drown out the world with my music. At first, I would hook it up to some portable speakers so I could still hear stuff going on around me. I'd probably still do that except now I wear my headphones at work so I can ignore people that try to talk to me. It's not that I don't want to talk to them, I just don't want to talk to them. I can still kinda hear them cuz I don't turn it up all the way, but now I have an excuse for why I completely ignored them. It's great.

I'm a Jerk

You know that comedian Russell Peters? Look him up if you've never heard of him, but I'll just say he's pretty fucking funny. Anyway, one thing he said that was funny and really really true was when he tells the white guy that he will never be as racist as someone from the minority. Like when I make all kinds of racist jokes towards white people or when I discriminate against other minorities because it's okay cuz I'm a minority too. Okay, I admit this is despicable behaviour and I'm a terrible person for doing it. In my defence, I will say that... um, okay, there's no real defence for this but he's totally right about it. Minority groups will be the most racist bastards you'll ever see and the white man can't say anything or else he'll be a racist. There was a white guy that did that to me once. I'd describe him to you but they all look the same to me...

Flirting 301

A few years ago I wrote something about how to flirt. I really hope this helped you guys out there. I hope you were able to successfully flirt with that girl you really like without coming off too creepy. I kinda realized - 4 years later - that other side of learning how to flirt is the awareness of when someone is flirting with you. Being the handsome and attractive devil that I am, I give you this information based on personal experience. With that in mind, please be aware that if you find someone flirting with you (you know this because of what I'm about to tell you) and you flirt back and end up getting rejected, well... that's what you get for taking dating advice from me. Dummy.

How to Tell She's Flirting with You:

1. She mimics your movements - if she's into you, she'll lean when you lean, she'll turn when you turn, and she'll dance like an idiot. Like you.
2. She makes an effort to touch you - when she touches your knee or touches your arm or find reasons to get you to put your arm around her, she doesn't think you're disgusting.
3. She licks her lips - no, she's not trying to be all sexually suggestive, she's trying to get you to listen to her and she's drawing attention to her mouth. Be careful with this one - she may have just eaten some chips and still thinks you're gross.
4. She makes eye contact - if her eyebrows are angled in and she gets wrinkly between her eyes, she's probably just mad at you and is giving you the evil eye. The key to this one is eye contact while smiling.
5. She asks for your number - she either wants to talk to you again or you've just crashed your car into hers and she wants to sue your ass. Please remember the context of the situation is key.

Most of these are covered in my original flirting post but since you're having trouble meeting girls, I thought I'd lay it out for you. You know, so you don't have to read between the lines.

Procrastinators Never Learn

After my computer backup issue, or lack of backup, I was going to buy an external hard drive for backing up my shit. That was in December. Now that its February, I'm seriously considering buying that external hard drive so I don't lose all our stuff again. No really, I'm going to have an external backup before my 2nd anniversary.

Change for the Sake of Change

Recently, King George Highway was renamed King George Boulevard. This just makes all the difference in the world. Imagine the possibilities! No seriously, I like the new name better but I'm not sure it makes any difference whatsoever.

Highway it is...

I don't consider myself conceited or self-centered. Generally speaking, I think I'm pretty humble and selfless. I am a nurse, after all. Anyway, with that said, I just want to make it absolutely clear: my way is better.