Men's Rules for Women

1. Learn to use the toilet seat. You're a big girl, if its up, put it down. We put it up when you leave it down. You don't hear us complain.
2. Let us be clear: subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. You have to just say what you want.
3. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to your yes and no questions.
4. Don't ask us if you're fat if you're not willing to hear the truth.
5. When you come to us with a problem we'll try to fix it. You can go to your girlfriends for sympathy.
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. This includes driving.
7. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials.
8. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
9. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.