I'm not much of a crier. I don't cry during movies, I don't cry at weddings or funerals, and I don't cry when Britney Spears goes to rehab. The past 2 weeks though, these babies are making me cry like... well, a baby. Sometimes it's frustration, sometimes it's because I'm scared for them, and sometimes it's because I'm literally overwhelmed with joy. Last Wednesday night we got a call saying Lucas wasn't do so well and needed to be intubated. Over the last few days I got more information and realized that it wasn't so much that he wasn't doing well, the little guy just needed a little help. I felt better and seeing him wasn't so hard. Today we went to the hospital and he had been extubated and was breathing on his own like nothing happened. I almost cried when I saw that he didn't have anything stuffed down his throat. I was able to hold it together for the whole visit until the nurse said that he might be getting promoted back to the West Side and back down to a Level 2. Okay, I didn't break down in tears or anything, but I was so happy to hear that I let a single tear fall down my cheek.
A friend of mine once told me that when she sees her 8 yr-old son win tae kwon do tournaments, she gets so full of joy she cries. I cry when I get the chance to actually hold my children in my arms and not see them in a clear plastic box. I fill with pride when I hear my twins are no longer level 3 and that they've moved to the West Nursery. And I'm probably the happiest guy on earth when I hear they are tolerating their tube feeds and the volume increases by 3mLs. Right now I'm praying that I'll be able to see them in tae kwon do tournaments or piano recitals or school plays.
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