The Twins

Lucas:
Usually he's quite laid back. He sleeps like daddy with both arms over his head and generally sleeps through anything and everything until it's time to eat. Once in a while he'll get all fidgety like he's got ants in his pants but if you give him a soother he's good until it's feeding time again. As of a few days ago he started wearing clothes. He was born a little smaller but now he's bit bigger than his sister. His head was shaved a couple of weeks ago and it looks quite good on him - like a cute little thug.

Amelia:
When she first came out we were really worried about her. As soon as the docs removed her, the NICU nurses grabbed her, did a few things, then whisked her off to the nursery. We didn't even get a chance to see her. As Celia was being wheeled to recovery she said to me, "go make sure Amelia is okay." Even though she's doing great now, I still think back to that moment and I get scared for her. After the incident last week, I was reminded of her first moments in life. She sleeps like mommy, a little more spread out with her mouth slightly open. Also, when she's sleeping she tends to have a little smile on her face. She's very alert, even when she should be sleeping, with her eyes wide open watching everything going on around her. When she cries she is easily soothed when we hold her.

I have pictures of both of them that make me smile with joy but at the same time the look on their faces seem to say, "Why?" As in "Why was I born so early?" "Why is everything so difficult already?" "Why aren't I still inside mommy's belly?" I look at them and I want to say sorry that they had to be born so early and struggle with life already.