I Quit Smoking

I never got a cigar when my twins were born. Who wants to come over and smoke a cigar with me? Can anyone suggest a good cigar? I don't mean a $100 cigar, I just had twins and now I'm poor. I just want a cigar that isn't too expensive but not a cheap, rolled-up banana leaf either. If anyone says I should know about cigars because I used to smoke, I'm want you take your right hand, put it behind your head and in a quick, forceful motion push your head downwards to your keyboard. It should make you say "ouch". Repeat this 3 times. Anyway, while we smoke cigars we'll drink this wine I had made. It's actually not too bad.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law-in-law, Kerri.  Here is my annual limerick for her:

There once was a girl from Saskatoon,
Who liked to howl at the moon.
She wasn't a wolf-were,
Nor was she a big bear.
She was just a girl who liked to croon.

I never said I was good at limericks so shut up.  Happy birthday, Kerri.

...in Bed

The next time you go out for chinese food, when you read your fortune say "in bed" at the end. It's freakin hilarious. I'm going to do that more often with everything. Check me out on Facebook and you'll see what I mean.

Tip of the Day

Although everything seems to be settling down in terms of blog visits, I decided I need to try and increase my site traffic a little. My ratings are dropping like Lost - Season 2. In order to ramp things up a bit, I think we all need a little more drama or scandal and intrigue. I can't think of anything right now but since everyone likes food, here's my tip of the day:

If you go to In & Out for burgers, order your burger "animal style" - it's not on the menu, you just have to ask. They put some fried onion in there for you and it's some good shit man.

Top Five Email Pet Peeves

1. Reply to All when you don't need to.  We had someone spam the entire network once (over 20,000 users) and people actually used the "Reply to All" to say "Whatever you do, don't reply to all."

2. Forwarding too many jokes.  If it feels like you're sending too many jokes, then you're sending too many jokes.
3. Asking questions or putting the entire content of the email in the Subject line.
4. Plain text.  It's just plain ugly.
5. No signature at the bottom.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just put your damn name at the bottom of your email.  I know it's in the From: line but it's like not saying "bye" at the end of a phone call.

Wait For It...

I've been to the hospital every day for the past 6 weeks. Sometimes twice. Here's our daily schedule for the past week: Celia drops me off at work or I drop her off at the hospital in the morning. After work I either find a ride to the hospital, she picks me up, or I pick her up. Then we run some errands, go home and take a nap. Quick dinner then off to the hospital for the babies' 8pm feeding/cuddle/bath. Then home at about 10pm. On weekends I get to spend more time in the afternoon at the hospital. Even though I don't get a lot of time with my babies right now, it's still the best part of my day and it practically kills me sometimes if I'm even 5 minutes late.

Bandwagon Fan

Well it's good to see that everything is going back to normal. My blog is no longer getting hammered with 12,000 hits/day. It seems we've settled to an average of 100-140/week, just slightly more than pre-twin days.

How come no one writes in their blog anymore? I've got about a dozen of them bookmarked and when I go check for updates, there might be one that has been updated. You guys suck. Maybe you should get off Facebook and update your blog to prove that you didn't start it just to jump on the blog bandwagon and that you really wanted to share your thoughts with the world.

You Can't Handle the Truth Part 4

It's okay if you're jealous that my kids are cuter than yours. I'm jealous that your kids were full term and are at home with you.

No Heavy Lifting!

We found out today that Lucas needs surgery. Apparently, all his organs are backwards and he has to have major surgery to correct it or else when he grows up he'll have major problems. Hang on a sec... I think that's the story from Grey's Anatomy. Lucas has a hernia and needs it repaired. It's the kind of surgery that only takes a couple of seconds and then he comes home again like nothing happened. So he's not going under the knife for anything major after all. It'll probably happen later later as in not any time soon.

Wait For It...

Last Saturday Celia and I were supposed to get married. Since Christmas we though that April 14 would be the day. Well that day has come and gone my friends. Just in case you haven't been paying attention, our babies were born a little early. All our plans for Feb-May have changed. Now, our wedding is being rescheduled for... later. We haven't decided on a date yet, we are waiting to find out what a lucky day is for us. Even though we didn't get married when we thought we would, this works out better for us because now we don't have to rush. You'll get real invitations this time (unless I don't know you - why are you reading this?) and there will be a real wedding and reception (probably anyway). I figure if we get married in May or June next year, we'll have our anniversary, Celia's bday, my bday, mother's day, and father's day all out of the way. I guess that could be expensive, huh?

Smile

Today I didn't get to go to the hospital until late in the evening. I didn't realize it before but if you go too long without seeing your newborn babies, you get very antsy and grumpy until you finally see them again. The best part is when you get to the hospital and the babies are no longer in separate isolettes but co-bedded in one crib. Seeing them sleep beside each other is probably thus far, the greatest thing I've seen. I can't even begin to explain how incredible it is to see them go from being intubated because they were born so early they didn't know how to breathe yet, to seeing them sleep peacefully beside each other in a crib. I have only 3 words to describe it: W. O. W.

I am in Control

Facebook isn't addicting like everyone says it is. "Internet crack", my ass (get it? my ass ->crack?). Anyway, just because I spend most of my time on Facebook doesn't mean I'm addicted to it. I can quit any time.

Not the Source but Still A Lot of Fun

Just in case you haven't already figured it out, Lucas and Amelia's names are quite fun for me.

Lucas & Amelia
Luke & Lia. Fraternal twins. If you haven't gotten it yet, you're a moron.

"Luke, I am your father."

The Twins

Lucas:
Usually he's quite laid back. He sleeps like daddy with both arms over his head and generally sleeps through anything and everything until it's time to eat. Once in a while he'll get all fidgety like he's got ants in his pants but if you give him a soother he's good until it's feeding time again. As of a few days ago he started wearing clothes. He was born a little smaller but now he's bit bigger than his sister. His head was shaved a couple of weeks ago and it looks quite good on him - like a cute little thug.

Amelia:
When she first came out we were really worried about her. As soon as the docs removed her, the NICU nurses grabbed her, did a few things, then whisked her off to the nursery. We didn't even get a chance to see her. As Celia was being wheeled to recovery she said to me, "go make sure Amelia is okay." Even though she's doing great now, I still think back to that moment and I get scared for her. After the incident last week, I was reminded of her first moments in life. She sleeps like mommy, a little more spread out with her mouth slightly open. Also, when she's sleeping she tends to have a little smile on her face. She's very alert, even when she should be sleeping, with her eyes wide open watching everything going on around her. When she cries she is easily soothed when we hold her.

I have pictures of both of them that make me smile with joy but at the same time the look on their faces seem to say, "Why?" As in "Why was I born so early?" "Why is everything so difficult already?" "Why aren't I still inside mommy's belly?" I look at them and I want to say sorry that they had to be born so early and struggle with life already.

I Would Never...

...Want to be on the team that plays against the Harlem Globetrotters.  They cheat, they break all the rules, they goof off, and yet they always win. 

"Mom"

Celia's mom has been staying with us the past week. She'll stay with use during the week and on the weekend, go stay with Celia's sister. Most people would cringe at the thought of having their mother-in-law stay with them, but I actually kinda like it. The past week, Celia and I have been driving from hospital to hospital to see our kids and by the time we get home its like 10pm or later. Every time we've come home, her mom has had food ready for us. She also cleaned the house for us (including the bathrooms) and went grocery shopping. She's been a mom for a long time so I guess she knows what she's doing here. Not only do I like her being around to help with all this stuff, but whether she's willing to admit it or not, I can tell that Celia really likes having her here too. I know that the two of them have had a very tumultuous relationship over the years, but I guess that now that Celia is an adult (as if she hasn't been for like 15 years) and has settled down with a family of her own, things are a little more relaxed. It's nice to see them sitting down with a cup of tea talking and laughing like old friends. I have no idea what they're saying but Celia tells me they are just gossipping. I hope someday Celia will be sitting in Amelia's living room laughing and gossipping over a cup of tea.

You Can't Handle the Truth Part 3

When I used to work at the bedside, if a patient had a nice family it meant I liked the patient better.

So Very Important...

I work in informatics. I work the informatics department of a very large organization. If you don't know what informatics is, look it up. Anyway, where I work, there are a lot of people with a lot of access to a lot of information. Some very personal information. Also, because of where I used to work, there are a lot of people with little bit of access to very specific information. No offense to anyone but I don't want you poking your nosey little noses into my wife and kids' records. They are all marked as VIPs so if you try snooping and looking at what's going on, we'll catch you. I know I publish my blog to a very public place and I don't restrict anyone from reading this, but when it comes to my very personal life, go mind your own damn business. I'll tell you what I want to tell you and if you want to know more, ask me instead of invading my privacy.

So Much to Celebrate...

My little girl is back at our local hospital. She's been ready for a couple of days, we just had to wait for a bed to open up for her. Every day we had to visit her in the city, she seemed so grumpy (but then again, she was probably really hungry) but yesterday, back at our hospital, she seemed so much more relaxed and calm. I think she could sense that she was close to her brother again. I didn't mind driving into Vancouver every day - Celia and I used to do it all the time - I didn't like the the idea that my twins were so far apart from each other so early in life. Aren't twins supposed to be close to each other?

Today is Lucas and Amelia's 1 month birthday. They have officially been out in the big bad world for one month. Celia and I will be having cupcakes at the hospital in honour of this event.

So far, so good

We had a visit from the surgeons - and not just any surgeon, it was the fellow and the boss - and based on their assessment of Amelia, they don't believe that we should be worried at all that she has necrotizing enteral colitis.  In the past 24 hours her abdominal girth has gone down a few centimeters, the xrays look clear, and (just as the doc was opening her diaper) she had a huge, smelly bowel movement.  The surgeons were going to follow her for the next few days but they said they really didn't think they would need to get involved.  So today: good news!  In a couple of days, let's hope for more good news. 

Getting good news like this is always such a relief.    We were having coffee and Celia tried this cranberry cider thing.  At first she said it was very soothing and made her feel better but then we realized that after the good news we got, the nice, soothing cider topped it off and made her feel good all over (not in THAT way, get your mind out of the gutter).  Have you ever had that sense of relief and comfort at the same time?

Brave Little Girl

I figure it's because she wants to be a nurse like daddy and she just has to see all the different places she can work. This afternoon Amelia was transferred to yet another hospital. Some time during the night her abdomen began to balloon up and slightly bloated belly became significantly distended, interfering with her breathing. Once the docs saw her, they decided to transfer her to the big children's hospital in the city just in case she needed to go for surgery. They did all kinds of things to her and she didn't cry a single tear (that's my brave little girl) - I think mommy and daddy cried more than she did. Even with her little ventilator and gazillion tubes and IVs and monitors, she held my hand so tight and was stronger than daddy.

So now the twins are separated. Not just in different incubators, but this time they're in different hospitals in different cities. For a third time I ask you, please pray for my children.

Be My Friend

Have you heard of Facebook? It's the new friendster or myspace. Its got some neat features and I still haven't quite figured it out yet. It's always fun to join these things because you can post pictures and comments and network with friends - old and new. Friendster was getting boring anyway. I really like it because I can advertise my blog to complete strangers and then maybe I'll get 13000 hits by the end of the year.