Big White

Yesterday I got back from snowboarding at Big White. For anyone that doesn't know what that is, its a new ski/snowboard resort near Kelowna. It's also one freakin' awesome mountain. Anyway, we drove up on Thursday, ripped up the mountain on Friday and Saturday, then drove home Sunday. Good times.

Then I checked my mail.

It was about 6 or 7 pm when I read that I was supposed to appear at the courts for jury selection on January 15th at 9am. WTF? That's in the morning! Crap. So I went there today and the woman in the sheriff's office (is everyone there considered a sheriff?) told me that it was postponed and I'd have to show up next monday. Sonuva... Okay fine. I stop by work and tell my boss I have jury duty and I won't be showing up on Monday. Not that its such a big deal, I mean trial by one's peers is the cornerstone of democratic society, right? I totally stole that line from my summons papers and I didn't even put it in quotes or cite the reference. I'm such a badass. Maybe now I'll be disqualified from jury duty.

Men's Rules for Women

1. Learn to use the toilet seat. You're a big girl, if its up, put it down. We put it up when you leave it down. You don't hear us complain.
2. Let us be clear: subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. You have to just say what you want.
3. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to your yes and no questions.
4. Don't ask us if you're fat if you're not willing to hear the truth.
5. When you come to us with a problem we'll try to fix it. You can go to your girlfriends for sympathy.
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. This includes driving.
7. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials.
8. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
9. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Holy Crap!

As all of you probably know, we're expecting. "Expecting what?" you ask? Babies, of course. Why does "expecting" always mean you're expecting a baby? What if you're just expecting the delivery of a new sofa? "Yes, we're expecting and we're very excited. The new sofa gets delivered Tuesday." Anyway, you read correctly above. We're expecting babies. As in Twins. Crazy, huh? Not crazy like running around in circles screaming, but crazy like climbing mt everest without a warm coat. I have to admit this throws a monkey wrench into all my plans. I was going to buy a little 2-seater sports car and move us all into a little downtown condo. Now it looks like its minivan and home in the burbs. Oh wait, that didn't change my plans at all. never mind.

Smile!

Yesterday I bought a new camera: the Canon Powershot SD800IS. You'll have to look it up yourself because I'm too lazy to make a link. Originally, I was looking for the SD900 because I wanted a 10 megapixel camera but I traded 3 megapixels for image stabilization. I know what you're thinking: "you didn't need 10 megapixels anyway." Well, sure maybe I didn't but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get it. I believe that when it comes to technology, you should always get the most that you can afford. When people ask me to help them find a new computer I always ask "how much can you spend?" If you say $1000, then I'll look for computers that are $1000 not $600. You'll never be ahead of the game when it comes to technology because there's always something new so by buying the best you can now will mean your stuff will become outdated in 10 months instead of 5. But I guess its all a tradeoff. I chose less megapixels for the image stabilization. I'll post some pictures after my vacation.

Merry Christmas

We're spending Christmas in San Francisco with Celia's sister and we'll be back on Boxing Day. Have a Merry Christmas and best wishes for the holiday season to you and your loved ones.

Edelweiss

I just watched The Sound of Music again. When did this movie come out? 1965? After the movie we looked up the characters on Wikipedia. Apparently, the actors that played the kids are all still alive and kicking. Liesl used to be so hot. Now: not so much. Anyway, I still think its a romantic movie. Not just the love story but the whole stand-up-for-your-convictions way that the Captain handled his family. No joining the nazis, giving up everything for freedom, etc etc. If you've only watched it on TV, you should watch the widescreen version. Trust me, its better.

Happy Belated

I forgot to celebrate the third anniversary of my blog. It was November 25th, 2003 when I started writing all this crap. The really funny part is that all you guys have been wasting your time reading it! Seriously, I don't have any kind of insight and I'm not all that funny. I mostly just talk about myself and useless crap. Anyway, happy birthday! I have an idea for 2007, but you'll have to wait to see the new feature.

New stuff I'm working on (this isn't the new 2007 feature, moron. it's still 2006):
Adding labels to all my old posts. As of right now, I have something like 542 entries that I have to label. It might take a while but after all that work, it'll be so much easier to go back and read all my deep, insightful movie and book reviews or go back and play all the 'Who Said That?' games all over again.

Save the Cheerleader...

Okay, I'm hooked. I haven't been this hooked since last season's Grey's Anatomy (which I'm finding kinda dull nowadays). You have to watch Heroes. Now that's some good shit. Don't even tell me you think it looks cheesy because it's not. Okay okay, its a little farfetched but its so exciting.

Synopsis:
A bunch of people have super powers and something is going to happen that brings them all together to save the world. How do they save the world? Save the cheerleader.

Top Ten Things I Want for Christmas

In no particular order:

1. World Peace
2. New helmet with built in headphones
3. Oakley Crowbar goggles
4. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
5. Nintendo Wii/PS3
6. Black Socks
7. Underwear - either boxers or boxer briefs
8. Logitech G7 or MX Revolution mouse
9. new computer (actually, just a processor and video card - I can take care of the rest myself
10. Canon SD900 digital camera

Go World Peace!

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Yeah, that's hot.

Again, the Job gets Stressful

I found out the other day that I have to do a presentation. Presentations are no big deal. I do them all the time. I teach classes on how to use the software on a regular basis. This presentation, however, is a little different. I have to present to all the executives in the Authority. I'm talking about standing in front of the CEO, CFO, CIO, a whole pile of VP's, directors, managers, etc, and do my best to sound the least bit intelligent. I don't know why I'm nervous about it, it's not like they can fire me. And whether or not I do a good job won't really affect anything about my work. I just don't want to sound like an idiot. You know, gotta make our department look good. Okay, all those people might not be there, but this is a bigger deal than I'm used to.

What's That From?

I have to salute a movie that has given us some great quotes. I have to admit I enjoyed this movie but unfortunately its missing huge explosions and naked women. Oh well, good movies don't have to have it all.

"Show me the money!"
"You had me at hello."
"Help me help you."
"You complete me."

If you say any of these quotes, everyone - and I mean everyone will know what you're talking about.

Another Top 5

Top 5 Funniest Shows on TV:

1. Family Guy
2. Scrubs
3. Most Extreme Elimination Challenge
4. The Simpsons
5. Ellen

Who Said That? Level 6

"No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is."

Superstar

Looks like old KFed's concert was a smashing success. After begging to stop it from being cancelled he was able to fill 300 seats out of the 1500 available. I almost feel bad for the guy. At first, he was the lucky chump that nailed Britney Spears. Then he became the deadbeat dad and husband. Then he became the loser that had his car taken away by his wife. Then he turned into a rap "artist". Now he's this sad little pathetic dude that probably cried after his concert. I really feel bad for him. Sort of.

Let it Snow!!

It snowed on Cypress Mountain the other day. 32 cm!! That's one foot for all you people that still live in the stone age. They expect to open at the end of the month. I'd like to see another 100 cm before I go, but I'm just itching to go. I bought new gloves a couple weeks ago. My old ones were starting to wear at the fingertips and I noticed my fingers were getting cold and wet. All I need now is a new helmet and pair of goggles (Christmas gifts hopefully!).

Movie Review

Strange Than Fiction with Will Ferrell and Dustin Hoffman

I thought it was brilliant.

Shut Up!!!

Britney finally filed for divorce from KFed. Looks like Whitney finally talked to her and told she should lose the loser and become the sexy little tramp schoolgirl again. I doubt Whitney told her to be a sexy little tramp schoolgirl but you get the idea. Actually, I doubt Whitney talked to her at all but Britney rhymes with Whitney so maybe they were just on the same wavelength. I read somewhere that Britney wasn't going to ask for alimony from Special K. That's too bad for her because I think I see his new CD skyrocketing any day now.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

I'm not perfect. Actually, I'm far from it. I'm kinda lazy, not really very smart, a little irresponsible, I don't make a lot of money, and I'm not famous, and I don't see myself suddenly becoming famous in the future. I live a pretty average life. This has been me for the past 32 years. Why do people expect anything different? Why is it okay for some people to do things differently and make their own decisions in life but not okay for me? When will I be allowed to do what I want? Everyone else seems to be allowed to bitch and scream about this, but when I do it, I'm being immature. And why do I still let people make me feel like I'm 17 years old again?

Fright Night

Last night we went to Fright Night at Playland. We got some free tickets from Celia's friend so it was actually pretty cheap. $10 for parking, no door charge ($50 value), $40 in games (they're all scams), and corn dogs, smokies, churros, and cotton candy made for a very entertaining night. We couldn't go on any rides and we attempted one of the haunted houses but the lineups weren't worth the thrills. To be honest, it wasn't even that scary. There were too many people walking through the haunted house to make it scary. Maybe for children or if you were walking through alone then it would be scary.

Save Your Money

If you want to open an ING savings account (3.5% interest), let me know. I'll refer you and you get some free money (so do I).

Sonuva...

I just noticed that the titles in my sidebar don't line up. Why the hell didn't anyone tell me this? Now I can't the damn things to line up properly.

That's Just Me

I hate hate hate it when people put food in their mouths and then open their mouths to show you the chewed up food. It makes me want to puke.

Who Said That? Level 5

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend... "

That's Just Me

My desk at work is very neat and tidy. I put everything away before I leave for the day and everything has its place.

My desk at home is a fucking pigsty.

Dreams

Reading my sister's blog reminded me of something that happened a couple years ago. I used to have a roommate that had a cat. I actually liked the cat because she was easy to take care of because she didn't need walking, didn't need constant attention, and was cute to have around. Well we used to sleep with the door slightly ajar otherwise Nala would scratch at it until someone let her in (then she would come in, look around and then leave like she just wanted to come in and see what was going on). Anyway, Nala would sometimes jump up on the bed and sleep on the pillow beside me or if Kerri had left for work already would just bug me until I got up. Anyway, one night I was having a dream that Nala was walking on my pillow and waving her tail in my face so I pushed her away and yelled, "Nala, stop that!" The next morning when I got up I realized that it wasn't Nala, it was Celia's hair tickling my face and I had shoved her head away! Sorry, babe.

Just an Update

It's been a while, huh? What have I been up to? None of your damn business. Just kidding. Well, not entirely, but I don't mean to sound like an a-hole. Anyway, I'll tell you what I'm doing now.

Today I attended my first meeting for this new project I'm working on at work and wow what a timekiller. Four hour meetings just kill me. I'd rather go to the dentist. Don't get me wrong, the meeting was necessary, but holy crap this project seems like it will never get off the ground with all the bickering and "discussions" going on. The next 6 months at work will be interesting...

I just got a new muffler for my car. I've needed a new muffler for about 3 months now but I finally got it done and my car is nice and quiet. Next: new tires.

Bed update: the king size bed we bought fucking rocks. We don't crowd each other anymore and Celia can roll over without knocking me in the face.

Has anyone else had a problem recently with their MSN Messenger? For a while I couldn't log in and it would just say "signing on" and the msn dude would spin around forever. I fixed it with the help of some website. Apparently it was some bug. Don't ask me for the address, just google "can't log into msn messenger".

Last week I was on vacation and did absolutely nothing. It was great. I slept in, played on my computer all day and vegged out for a week. I haven't had any real time off work since January so it was much-needed. The problem now is that I hate waking up early for work.

Coming Soon

Thanksgiving Weekend.

Whistler.

Turkey Sale.

Up to 70% off.

Who wants to go?

Book Review

The Sweet Hereafter by Russell Banks

It was supposed to be this really good book, but I thought it was just blah. No one gets sued. There, I just ruined the book for you.

Revisiting the Past

I posted this a couple years ago but I re-read it and thought it was pretty funny:

Shit Happens

Kevin + Bobby = 4 useless careers.

There was a time when I refused to post pictures here. Why? Because my blog isn't about showing you the picture album of my life, its about me saying whatever the hell I feel like saying. Originally, I didn't even plan on putting a comment section so if someone didn't like what I was saying there would be no way for them to leave me a "i-don't-agree-with-you" message for me. Why did I eventually put pictures and comments in? A) just to see if I could, B) to see who would actually leave comments, and C) vanity. I just wanted to get some feedback from my loyal readers. To everyone that has been reading this since the beginning, I'm glad you stuck around and didn't abandon me like Whitney did to Bobby. Then again, I wasn't getting you to do coke and making you bail me out of jail. Also, I wasn't cheating on you either. Thanks for being so loyal. Now, all we have to do is get that other copycat-career-killing-husband to leave his wife. Then Britney will be back on top.

Favourites

Favourite Curses:

1. Mothafucka!
2. Sonuvabitch!

Favourite Taunts:

1. Sucka!!
2. Ya like that? Huh? Ya like it?
   

The Bacon Number

The Bacon Number is the degree of separation any person will have with Kevin Bacon.

eg, Billy Dee Williams was in Giant Steps (1992) with Don McKellar
Don McKellar was in Where the Truth Lies (2005) with Kevin Bacon

Check out The Oracle of Bacon for any actor you want to try this on.

Top Five

Top Five Favourite Coffee Shops:

1. Tim Horton's
2. Starbucks
3. ...
4. ...
5. ...

Ya, I pretty much only like these two. Where I work, I have neither nearby. Waa.

Who Said That? Level 4

This is a tough one:

"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing."

Happy Birthdays

This past week was Dinah and Gillian's birthdays. Last weekend we went out and celebrated their birthdays with this other dude, but I don't really know him. I met him for a second but I don't really remember him. Anyway, happy birthday to them. I know the picture has Vanessa in it too, and I know it wasn't her birthday, but I didn't want to post a picture of a dude I don't know so I put this one up instead.

Who Said That? Level 3

This one is a little harder. No hints either.

"Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder."

I miss...

I've been in my job for two and a half years and I'm starting to miss something from my old job at the hospital. Is it the patient care aspect of my profession? Is the the feeling of satisfaction from helping those in need? Or is it the feeling of self-worth from knowing it is a noble career, long entrenched in the history of western civilization? I think I'd have to say none of the above. What I really miss is my five days off between sets. I used to work 12hr shifts, 2 days, 2 nights and then 5 days off. Sure my days off changed every week but it was still predictable and it was so much easier to get things done on a Tuesday afternoon than it is to do it on a Saturday afternoon.

Small World

Last week we went Saigon. You know, that karaoke place on Broadway. Anyway, we met up with a bunch of Celia's friends and since they go to Saigon all the time they were buddy-buddy with the owner. They introduced me and we all had a good time. Later that night, the owner comes by and asks me my last name and who my parents are. Hm, weird but okay. I tell him and he says, "don't you remember me? I'm your uncle." Oh man, this guy is my mom's cousin (mind you, not super close or anything. I've only met him once before). So now everyone is joking around about how my tito is keeping his eye on me and how he should now let everyone drink for free because we're all family. Anyway, we closed the place and didn't get home till almost 4am. Fun times.

Crikey!

Say this in a thick australian accent: "Take a look at this. This is the most dangerous [insert name of animal here] on the planet. No one, and I mean no one should get this close to it. I'm just going to try and pick it up."

Remember Steve Irwin "Crocodile Hunter"? He would play with poisonous snakes, pick up deadly scorpions, wrestle 12 ft crocodiles, and chase down hyenas without getting so much as a scratch. He was invincible. Then one day he decides to go swimming with some stingray. Although stingray have a barb at the end of their tail that can be quite painful if you're jabbed, fatalities are very rare. This barb, however, jabbed Steve Irwin "Crocodile Hunter" in the chest, puncturing his heart and ultimately killing him at the young age of 44.

Let us all mourn the loss of the bravest man I've ever seen on TV.

Who Said That? Level 2

"This is a really volcanic ensemble you're wearing, it's really marvelous!"

hint: same movie, same character "His name is Blane? That's a major appliance, that's not a name!"

TV Review

Duets hosted by Wayne Brady

Damn that Wayne Brady is funny! Oh, and the singing is aight.

I Can't Wait Till Sept 2

So on Sunday we decided to stop by Sleep Country to see what they had in the way of mattresses. Apparently, that's what they sell. My brother and his wife recommended we go there and I didn't know of any other place to go anyway. If you make one comment about Costco, I'm coming over to kick your ass. Anyway, we get there and the first thing we do is lay down on the most expensive mattress in the store. for a queen size set it was something like $4000. Yeah, screw that. We tried out the tempurpedic thing which I actually liked more than I thought I would, but it was $3000 or something like that. Yeah, screw that too. Then we asked the guy about the Sleep number beds. You know, the ones where you can adjust the softness/firmess on either side of the mattress. I was thoroughly unimpressed by this bed and, as it turns out, Celia and I had the same number anyway. We decided on a regular old mattress, no bells or whistles.

Option 1:
Some queensize bed with a great price. Very comfortable.

Option 2:
Another queensize bed with a slightly higher price. Even more comfortable.

So with these two options what do we do? We go with option 2 but in a king size. With 2 tempurpedic contoured pillows. This bed is going to fill the whole bedroom but I don't care. Its getting delivered on Saturday and I can't wait!

A World of My Own

I hear that mp3 players are causing early hearing loss in teens. Well its a good thing I'm not a teenager anymore because I'd hate it if my iPod made my hearing worse than it already is. Seriously though, I'd like to make a comment about my iPod. It fucking rocks! When I first got it, I didn't think I'd actually use it that often, but after having one for roughly a year and a half, I have to say it has changed my life. Not like I-won-the-lottery-and-moved-to-el-salvador changed my life, but rather it has given me privacy where privacy is limited. I work at a desk with about 7000 people around me and there's always people talking or walking around. When I put my iPod on, those people disappear and I can quietly hum away to Justin Timberlake or Chantal Kreveiakjdkazck (how the hell do you spell that?). Actually, at work I listen to a lot of classical music. It's not distracting and I don't try to sing along.

Who Said That?

For now on, I'm going have an ongoing game. I'm not keeping score, I'm not giving away prizes, and I'm not even going acknowledge right or wrong answers. What I will do, however, is quote a line from a movie and you have to guess who said it and what movie it's from. The quote may not be exact, but it should be pretty damn close.

We'll start easy:

"One look?! One look?!"

hint: same actor, same movie "What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?"

Crazy Games

I heard about this video today and it sounded interesting. The concept is simple: 6 guys get together in a library and if they lose the card draw, they have to do something bad but because its a library, they can't make any noise. I couldn't stop laughing at their pain.

Silent Library

Another Congratulations!

Congratulations to Rodney and Jeanette on the birth of the new son. I've known both of them all my life and they've both come a long way.

Congratulations Andre & Deanna

I know what you're thinking, "Why don't you put a picture of the newlyweds?" I explained this before. It's my blog and I'm gonna put pictures of me at the wedding. If you want to see pictures of the newlyweds, go to their website. No, I don't know the address to their site so maybe ask them for it yourself. Do I look like a freakin internet tour guide? Anyway, congratulations to Andre and Deanna. Their wedding was a lot of fun with a more than a few funny stories. I'll tell one of them later if I remember. I swear you'll laugh your ass off. It was that funny.

Fireball!!

Last night Celia's cousin was in town. We went out for a nice dinner, had a few drinks, and hit some club. We also met his friend who is a bit of a movie star. Don't get me wrong, he's not like Bruce Willis: Movie Star or Johnny Depp: Movie Star, he's more like "that guy that was in the movie with Mark Wahlberg". Anyway, if you saw him you'd probably recognize a couple of movies he was in. He was in Catwoman, The Corruptor, and most importantly he played Ryu in the Street Fighter movie. As we were sitting in the bar having drinks I could only think one thing: "Man, Ryu could totally take Guile in a fight." And I had to stop myself from asking him, "Okay, seriously now, seriously. Did you ever hit it with Chun-Li?" All kidding aside, he was a really nice guy except I think he was trying hit on Celia.

Ryu: "So Celia, what do you do?"
Celia: "Oh, I work in real estate development."
Ryu: "That's interesting, how do you like it?"
Oliver: "I'm a nurse."
Ryu: "So what development are you working on now."
Celia: "I'm at UBC."
Ryu: "There's a lot of new development there."
Oliver: "I'm a nurse."
Ryu: "In fact, I have some family that lives in one of your company's developements."
Celia: "Oh, which one?"
Oliver: "I'm a nurse."
etc etc...

Okay, I'm just kidding, it didn't really go like that. He didn't totally ignore me, in all fairness I was sitting behind Celia in a slightly lower chair so he probably could barely hear or see me except when I was poking my head over her shoulder. Really nice guy though.

For Sale

Does anyone want to buy this chair?
$30

Call me if you want it.

Weather Update

Well it finally cooled off and I can now turn my computer on. Because our computers are in the room that gets the afternoon sun, and last week it was hotter than Britney Spears before Special K-Fed, we turned them off and didn't even go into the room except in the early morning. Well now that the temp has come down to a reasonable level I've been able to waste all kinds of time on the internet, playing games, and wasting a lot of time on my computer. Finally!

In honour of the hot weather, here's the best ice cream place in all of Canada:



If you know where it is, you're a lucky lucky person. If you've been there you're luckier than Keira Knightley's underwear drawer.

Like I Lake You

Last week I went to Buntzen Lake with some of my friends from work. The original plan was for only 5 or 6 of us to go but we decided that we'd invite everyone in the department (about 30 people). The day came and early in the morning we went to the lake and you know how many people showed up? Six. Just like the original plan. Anyway, it was a good time and a fun way to cool off during the hot hot hot weather.

(Not so)New Revelations

There's a few things I've realized:

1. I'll never get 10,000 hits by Christmas
2. I'm not as young as I like to think
3. I'm fat and really out of shape
4. CSI:Miami isn't so bad (I still like LV the best)
5. I heart summer

Okay, I know some of it isn't new (#3) but with the hot weather and a lot of time spent at home, these things came to mind.

Finally

We got our barbeque yesterday! It's pretty freakin nice and the best part of it is that it was free. We got it with points so we didn't pay anything. Celia called me at work yesterday and says she just got a call from the company and they just delivered the barbeque but no one was home so they left it at the front door. When I got home, I saw it and realized why they weren't afraid of anyone stealing it. This thing came in a cardboard box bigger than Kevin Federline's old house. Y'know those wooden pallets that things ship on? This barbeque came on one of those and it was sitting there blocking my whole driveway. I had to open it and take it to the back patio one piece at a time. We bought a propane tank, some meat, and tonight we're firing it up! w00t!! Everyone's welcome, bring your own beer and meat.

Deep Thoughts

In the middle of this heat wave, I only have one thougth going through my head. "Holy shit its hot."

The New Reality

Canadian Idol, Hell's Kitchen, and So You Think You Can Dance? I still haven't found my favourite Canadian Idol yet, but soon... Soon. I've haven't watched Hell's Kitchen in a while and SYTYCD is taking forever. I guess I'm not as big of a fan that I thought.

Yay Italy

Well its been a couple of days and I gotta tell you: I think soccer is kinda boring. The excitement of the crowd is more interesting than the game. I know its the most-watched sport in the world but all that running back and forth is dull. Don't be mad at me, I'm a nerd.

Life... for Dummies

Y'know those yellow books about everything... for dummies? And the old Coles Notes for all the books you didn't bother to read in school? I used to think these things were great. They taught you everything you needed to know but didn't want to bother to really learn. If you didn't understand the language or terminology, these books put it into everyday english. Great, huh? Maybe its my old age, but now I'm starting to think these books do nothing but breed mediocrity. Need to learn something quick because you didn't start early enough? Have to write a paper but you don't want to read the source material? Want to learn about computers but don't understand how they work? Poetry... for dummies, The Great Gatsby... for dummies, Computers... for dummies. I'm not really good when it comes to literature, or math, or sports but I do know my own profession and career. Would you want a nurse that got through school with a 100-page booklet called Nursing... for dummies? How would you feel if you saw your pharmacist reading Pharmacology... for dummies? Now you're thinking, "That's different. I wouldn't use those books for that. Just the simple things like how to edit a photo on my computer." I totally agree with you, but that's what the nurse or pharmacist said until they started running out of time to do homework.

What's my point? Study! Learn! Don't be a dumbass!

Stuff I Like

I like crosswords. I just print it off. I have a tonne of them now. I think I told you that, but here's where I get my crosswords from:

The Star Crossword Challenge


Want some dark humour? Want some sick and twisted humour? Check this out daily:

Cyanide and Happiness

Wiki- What?

If you haven't heard of it yet, check out Wikipedia for "research". Why do I put quotes around research? Well Wikipidia is a free, online encyclopedia that is created by user input. So I wouldn't recommend writing your master's thesis based on Wikipedia info, but if you're just looking for a little more info on Mt. Pinatubo or who Deep Throat is for interest's sake, check it out. It's hipper than the Peach Pit After Dark.

Have Some More

My property tax is due today. Tough shit, I'm gonna pay it on Tuesday. Eat me, taxman.

Turn Turn Turn

I turned the bed the other night. I mean I physically turned it 90 degrees counter clockwise. Now the head of the bed is under the window and the room feels like it has more space. If you have any feng shui comments, keep that shit to yourself - I don't want to hear it. There's nothing wrong with having the bed under the window. Its actually quite refreshing at night and when you wake up you feel like you're on vacation because the room looks different like you're in a hotel.

That New Car Smell

No, I'm not referring some abstract idea of something new in life and how you can always tell its new. Also, I'm not referring to how smell helps you remember things better than any other sense. I'm just talking about that New Car smell. It especially smells good when it's an Acura CSX with the leather seats. Ya, that smells way better than my car...

Movie Review

Superman with Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth

Cool shit man.

Not Now, Later.

How would you put off procrastinating till later? I was watching Ellen and she made a good point. In today's day and age, we have all kinds of technology to save time. Devices and gadgets that let us do more at once so we have more time for later. Well, since I have a short attention span and I like immediate gratification, I don't want more time later, I want more time now. So, rather than get things done faster to save time later, which may or may not happen because we can't predict the future anyway, I'll procrastinate and more time now and rush later - which I might not have to do anyway.

Movie Review

Jarhead with Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard

Not bad. There's too many fucking A's in their names.

Tough

I like to complain. I won't deny it, I like to complain about everything. I'll be all sarcastic and make all kinds of smart-ass comments, but really, I just like to complain. I need to voice every thought in my head about how inconvenient of out-of-the-way what ever the situation is. My complaining, however, does not mean I'm not willing to try it. When the time comes, I'll go with the situation and I'll try not to bring the world world down with me. I'm usually pretty easy-going but damn it, I just have to comment on it as I go. So when I'm complaining, just say "Tough for you" and ignore the rest of my stupid comments.

Wake Up!!

For my birthday, I got an iHome clock radio with an iPod dock. Believe me, this thing is great. The only problem I have with it is that the buzzer isn't loud enough to wake me up. My old alarm clock had a buzzer that woke up my grandmother in the Philippines. This new one has one of those "gentle alarms" that progressively gets louder but not loud enough to jolt me awake the way I like. I shouldn't complain because it does wake me up eventually and I haven't slept in yet, but I'm worried about that one day when I have to be somewhere really early and I sleep through the alarm. I just have to keep telling myself, "it'll work, it'll work..."

Working Hard, Hardly Working

My job is getting harder and harder. I've been there for 2 years now and I find myself with more and more responsibilities. I mean, that's great and all, but now I get contacted for all kinds of things that I don't want to deal with. I just want to go to work, put my feet up and relax. Is that too much to ask for? A couple of months ago, I was asked by my boss to lead some major testing sessions. I seem to have taken over the design and management of our intranet site, and now I'm being volunteered to go to a union meeting to represent our department and explain what we do and how we're important to our profession. Some of these things are interesting, but like I said, I just want my easy job back.

High Tech & Useless

When I went to the conference in Florida last week, I was wandering around the vendor floor picking up little bits of swag. At one booth, the sales guy gave me a little USB memory key. Not such a big deal nowadays except this one has a fingerprint reader! How cool is that (in a BillGates-nerdy sort of way)! I took it home, set the thing to read my fingerprint but then realized it'll only work on computers that have the software installed on them. Stupid.

Movie Review

X-Men 3: The Last Stand with Famke Jansen, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, and Hugh Jackman

Good shit. I liked the second one better. People die in this one.

Good PR is Important

We had a meeting with our union today about being on-call 24/7. Except for a few little details, everything seems to be in order so it looks like we'll be on call all the time now. No big deal to me, its easy money and we generally don't get many calls. Anyway, after the meeting we were talking to the union reps and I somehow got conned into going to one of their meetings to give a little presentation on what we do and why nurses are working in Information Management. Its not until September so I have a lot of time to prepare. Doesn't sound like such a big deal, but since I'm such a shy person I get nervous about this stuff.

Quick Summary

Favourite ride in DisneyWorld: Aerosmith's Rockin' Rollercoaster - indoors, fast, & upside down
Least favourite ride in DisneyWorld: MGM Backlot Tour - nothing to see, boring trivia
Favourite park in DisneyWorld: MGM Studios - best rides, best stores
Least favourite park in disneyWorld: Magic Kingdom - boring, just for kids

Top 4 rides:
1. Rockin' Rollercoaster
2. Tower of Terror
3. Expedition Everest
4. Space Mountain
Everything else is just okay.

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my birthday. I didn't do anything special. In fact, I didn't do anything at all. I stayed at home most of the day trying to do laundry and get all my stuff from my trip organized. Then I went to my sister-in-law-in-law's birthday (we share the same birthday) and then went out for Pho. For the rest of the evening, we watched Grey's Anatomy and then went to bed. My 32nd came and went without a bang.

There once was a guy named Oliver,
He wasn't well known as a lover.
He landed a chick,
And oh what a kick.
He was in love, yes, with all of her.

There once was a guy from Saskatchewan,
Who... oh crap, what the hell rhymes with "Saskatchewan"?

The Happiest Celebration on Earth

Well, I'm back from my conference in Florida. The conference itself was pretty good. A lot of interesting stuff. However, out of the 5 days I spent there, the conference only took up the mornings and first half of the afternoon. The rest of the time was spent in the various parks at Disney World. Animal Kingdom, Magic Kingdom, MGM Studios, Epcot, and Downtown Disney. It was a lot of fun but I don't think its the kind of place I would go to again unless I had kids.

Away Again.

Off to Florida! See you in a week.

Back to Normal

Twice I've gone downstairs expecting to see Shaughn sitting at the bottom of the stairs. For the past 2 weeks every time I go down he jumped up and followed me around the house expecting me to either feed him or take him outside. Brenda and Peter picked him up less than an hour ago to take him home. I kinda got used to having him around. He's a lot of work though. I've been waking up early to feed him and take him outside. Celia says I didn't have to wake up so early and that I'm just a worrywart about the whole thing. He was a good roommate while he was here but it will be nice to see the rug again without all the dog hair.

Wedding

Yesterday was Brenda and Peter's wedding reception. They got married on the cruise ship last week and their reception was at the UBC Golf Course. It was very nice and the food was pretty good. Celia's sister, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and old friends were in town from all over the world. I met her dad for the first time, I danced the sprinkler with her mom, and I made gift boxes with her sister and cousin. It was a full week. Anyhoo, they're here for a couple more days, but I'm leaving tomorrow so I won't see them again for a while.

Movie Review

Mission: Impossible 3 with Tom Cruise, Keri Russel, & Maggie Q

Who the hell is Maggie Q? Does she not have a real name? I read that the Q stands for Quigley or something like that. She looks pretty hot in the movie and drives a sweet car. The rest of the movie was okay.

OSN - Oliver's Sports Network

I'm not going to make fun of Ultimate. Seriously, I won't make fun of it. I mean, really, it was a brilliant idea to combine football with a frisbee. Pardon me, it's not a frisbee, it's a "disc". What better way to enjoy a sunny day at the park than to throw your disc around with your friends? The guy (or girl - no discrimination here) that invented this game was a genius. Then, to make it sound like one of those "extreme" sports, he (or she) named the game "Ultimate". There's, like, teams and leagues and tournaments and stuff for this game. I'm not making fun of the game. In fact, I'm the last person who should be making fun of any kind of physical activity. I mean cuz I've gained a lot of weight and I'm really out of shape. Maybe playing a little Ultimate would be good for me. Help me shed a few pounds. Get me out in the sun for a bit of a tan. Help me make new friends and... okay I can't do it any more. Ultimate is so lame.

"Combining the non-stop movement and athletic endurance of soccer with the aerial passing skills of football, a game of Ultimate is played by two seven-player squads with a high-tech plastic disc on a field similar to football."

"high-tech plastic disc"?? Its a fucking frisbee!! Frisbees are not high-tech. They've been around for decades!

Early Riser

I've been waking up at 6am every day since Saturday so that I could take the dog out for a walk. Seriously, I've never woken up that early for more than 2 or 3 days in a row. The dog is so hyper about going out first thing in the morning I feel bad if I take him out after 7am. He's had to hold his pee all night (so did I though) and I'm sure he's gotta go real bad. And since I don't want any 'accidents' in the house, I take him out 3 or 4 or 5 times/day. Actually, I go out for my own sake as well. No, I don't go out and pee in the bushes, but I do like walking around the block with the dog. It's a bit of exercise for the dog and for me as well.

Special Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!

Funny Funny Shit

The Dog

While Celia is away, I'm dog-sitting Shaughn. He's the dog I talked about last year that had a pretty bad seizure. He still doesn't walk too straight and he's kinda clumsy around the house but he's still a good dog. I'll have him at home for the next week. I hope he's good. :)

Inspiration

This past week has been Nurse's Week. So the next time you see a nurse, give him hug and tell him he's your inspiration.

Lost

No, not the TV show. People keep talking about it - about how great it is and how addicting it is. I've never watched it but it looks interesting. Maybe someday I'll download it (in a completely legal manner wtih all copyright laws intact). Anyhoo, I'm talking about lost socks. I was reading a blog about things that go missing and it made me think about my socks. When I lived at home I just figured I had dropped a sock somewhere and someone else picked it up. When I moved out I would do my laundry and one fucking sock was still missing! I guess you just have make a sacrifice to the laundry gods and give up the sock.

Another Movie Review

Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron

Lame.

American Idol

Eliot has to go, Katharine is hot, Paris is annoying, Taylor has heart, and Chris is gonna win.

Movie Reviews

Crash with Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, and Ryan Phillipe

No wonder this move won. It was fucking great. Someday I'll give my 2 cents about racism. I just don't feel like talking all deep right now.

Mission: Impossible 3 with Tom Cruise and Felicity

For Tom's sake, this movie better kick ass.

Happy Birthday VJ

There once was a man from Moose Jaw,
He liked his beer cold and his fish raw.
He found a good spouse,
and built a big house,
Let's hope he doesn't have problems with the law.

Happy Birthday VJ. We've been friends for over 30 years. Here's to another 30 (at least)!!

When's Your Birthday?

If you tell me your birthday, I'll write you a bad poem.

Happy Birthday Kerri

I wrote you a birthday poem:

There once was a girl from Saskatoon,
She would laugh and laugh like a loon.
But then she moved here,
And discovered some beer,
Now she parties all night and sleeps till noon!

Okay okay, she doesn't really drink beer and I doubt she sleeps till noon or parties all night. But she is a lot of fun to hang out with. Happy birthday!

I'm Walking the Plank

The other day I bought a DVD burner. I've held off on buying one because, really, what the hell am I going to burn onto a DVD that I can't burn onto a CD? I buy my movies because I like to have the orignal case (I like the way it looks on my bookshelf) and none of my CD players can read DVDs for music. Then again, I don't burn music anymore because of my iPod. Then I realized that I could burn TV shows and crap like that onto DVDs. So now I'm putting episodes of my legally aquired, high-definition TV series onto DVDs so I can watch them on my humongous TV instead of my itty bitty computer monitor. This is cheaper than buying a humongous computer monitor. Okay, I'm lying. My TV isn't humongous and my computer monitor isn't itty bitty. Is there anything else I can burn onto DVDs?

Grrr

Ignorant

Work is Fun

My boss sent out an email and I couldn't help but laugh at it.

"Hi everyone - as we discussed last week the open house is on May 26. Please ensure any extra items (i.e. blow up snowman, sand, pale and shovel, cob webs, safari hats, etc.) are tidied up for the day. After the open house - it's every man / woman for himself again. "

As you can tell, we have a lot of fun at work. In 2 weeks we're having a minigolf tournament in the office (ie, in the cubicle maze) as a fundraiser. We're setting up holes around the office so people can walk around and get to know everyone else (there's about 200 people in our office space).

The Advantages of Being a Male Nurse

On Friday night when I was working, I had a patient call in the middle of the night. When I got in the room she says she wants me to get "the girl nurse". Okay, fine by me. I went and got my friend Elaine to go in and see what she wanted. As it turns out, she was incontinent and needed her diaper changed. I wasn't there to see it, but apparently it was pretty gross. Generally speaking, you can't pick and choose your nurse. Whoever is there is who you get. Sorry, that's just the way it is. If you want to choose your own nurse, go hire a private nurse and go home. With this said, however, I hardly ever argue with my patients about this. Usually it means they needs something really personal done - like clean up a whole pile of shit - and I'm not one to fight for this job. I should apologize to my coworkers that I pull this on them but, hey, its not my fault some people think only women should be nurses.

Damn Me and My Big Mouth

I know its black text on a dark gray background, but my site meter is at the bottom of the archive list. If you can't read it, dude, get a better monitor. I'm just short of 4700 hits now. That means I need 5300 hits over the next 8 months. Crap, why did I have to set unrealistic goals and then shoot my mouth off about it. Check this out to see why I'm a loser.

Everybody Has a Story Part 8

Last night I picked up another shift at the hospital. I had a patient that was still relatively young (54 yrs old) with a broken hip. "54? That's pretty young for a broken hip," I thought. Reading into it a little more, I saw that the docs thought this too and did a few more tests. As it turns out, he had bone cancer. From what I hear, this form of cancer is one of the more painful ones. He had just found out from his doc earlier in the day and last night he didn't fall asleep until about 5am. Nice guy, too. When I see things like this, I just can't help but think, "Man, that really sucks."

Goals

My goal is to get 10,000 hits by the end of the year. I'm not going to visit my own site more often just to reach my goal, but I'll advertise it a little more. Starting now.


Visit my site!

Metro-man

Yesterday Celia and her friends had a spa night here. All the manicures, pedicures, waxing, and massaging got me thinking: maybe I should get some work done. Manicures and pedicures, I find, are a little... frivolous for me. Massages I'll pass on - they just don't do anything for me. I'm not going to wax anything but I was thinking about getting a facial. I'm very self-conscious about my skin. Its looking uneven and a little rough. If I get a facial once, will I always need/want one after? Can I do a one-time job or do I have to keep up with regular maintenance? I don't expect miracles or anything and I don't expect it permanently fix my face, but if it helps a little once, that's all I want. Next time they have a spa night, I'm getting down with that.